So, hey. I think I told you that we got a metal detector? We did. It's only on the 8th grade entrance. The one 8th graders come in from 7:45-8:00 a.m. After that they come in the front door, which does not have a metal detector. This was Act of Genius #1. (Obviously the hoodlums will be on time, yes?)
Act of Genius #2 was not even plugging it up for the first month of school. Now we have reached the Ultimate Act of Genius. They turned it on this week. What does that mean? Oh, it just means the on-time 8th graders walk through it while it beeps wildly because they all have metal. Does anyone search them? No. Does anyone even acknowledge that metal has been detected? No. Is any adult even standing any where near this thing? Nope. Sometimes they'll even walk back through it, laughing manically.
Anybody know how much metal detectors cost? I'm guessing I could've bought a book or two instead.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Ode to My Principal
Oh, how I loathe thee…let me count the ways
1. I hate how you talk over the intercom like its your personal phone line. Thank you for interrupting my class at least 15 times every day.
2. I hate how teachers have to go through upwards of five steps and countless pages of documentation in order for a student to be suspended, but you will suspend them for talking out of turn or having their shirt untucked while you are around.
3. I hate how you attempt to micro-manage everything to the point of exhaustion, but then act blustered and busy if someone tries to get your permission for something.
4. I hate how you reprimand teachers over the intercom.
5. I hate how you make up rules and then follow them blindly.
6. I hate how you will never listen to anyone’s ideas and then 3 days later have an “epiphany” and present the idea as your own. (or continue to refuse to listen to it for eternity.)
7. I hate how you preach “hands-on learning” to the point that I can order 50 pounds of clay but no books.
8. I hate how you scream over the intercom and to teachers that students must have “relevant homework” every single night, yet do not provide paper or a working copy machine and students are not allowed to take home books.
9. I hate that your vindictiveness has caused us to lose at least 5 really amazing teachers, and will continue to cost us.
10. I hate how you pick certain students to harass all the time, while another student can be doing the same thing with no consequence.
11. I hate how you treat teachers like wayward children.
12. I hate how you constantly praise people whose sole job is to do paperwork while constantly insulting the people who actually work with children.
13. I hate knowing that you have drastic mood swings that I have to work around and 80% of the time it is impossible to talk to you.
14. I hate your insistence that faculty meetings consist of you talking and everyone else listening.
15. I hate that you only talk about keeping things clean at faculty meetings.
16. I hate that you expect middle school students to be completely silent for hours at a time.
17. I hate that you think 8th graders need to be walked in a line to the exit at the end of the day.
18. I hate how you think I should care what you think about me.
19. I hate that fake voice and demeanor you suddenly adopt when we have visitors.
20. I hate how you blatantly ignore the insanity of the upper floors but demand perfection from the students on the first floor.
21. I hate how, despite all this, some part of me has to appreciate you because wherever you are, there is no chaos.
I hate that there’s so many more things that I hate that are much harder to explain.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Weirdest Day of The Year...
is the day after I get a haircut.
This is a very serious issue. My students still refer to 2 years ago when I cut off like 6 inches. ("Oh man, do you remember when she cut her hair? I still can't believe she did it." they whisper to each other.)
Now, I'm really cheap, so I refuse to pay for a haircut that has no visible difference. So I always get at least 2 or 3 inches cut off. no big deal?
Oh, but it is. I'm so unconcerned with my appearance that it totally boggles my mind when other people are. I didn't get a crew cut or dye it pink or anything. I just had 3 inches cut off. These are the reactions I expect (as I have learned from past experience):
Gasps.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE????s.
Hair petting and sighs of remorse.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs.
I'm most concerned about Arricka, who told me last year when I got a haircut, "I just...I just can't even talk to you right now."
This is a very serious issue. My students still refer to 2 years ago when I cut off like 6 inches. ("Oh man, do you remember when she cut her hair? I still can't believe she did it." they whisper to each other.)
Now, I'm really cheap, so I refuse to pay for a haircut that has no visible difference. So I always get at least 2 or 3 inches cut off. no big deal?
Oh, but it is. I'm so unconcerned with my appearance that it totally boggles my mind when other people are. I didn't get a crew cut or dye it pink or anything. I just had 3 inches cut off. These are the reactions I expect (as I have learned from past experience):
Gasps.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE????s.
Hair petting and sighs of remorse.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs.
I'm most concerned about Arricka, who told me last year when I got a haircut, "I just...I just can't even talk to you right now."
Monday, September 22, 2008
Victory Is (Sort Of) Mine!
Okay! So I got the email from the Director of Social Studies. And, of course, I am right and they are wrong. yaay!
I haven't informed them of this because I'm not yet ready to be mature enough to do something besides scream, " THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!"
So I say victory is sortof mine because, well, I AM right, but who knows how they'll react to my rightness. You never know with the crazies.
I haven't informed them of this because I'm not yet ready to be mature enough to do something besides scream, " THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!"
So I say victory is sortof mine because, well, I AM right, but who knows how they'll react to my rightness. You never know with the crazies.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
"I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier."
Part of me knows that all this is a sign that it's time to go. I don't deal well with being micro-managed.
However, I really hate change and I really really love my kids. I get upset every time I think about it. I also enjoy the people that I work with (with one GLARING exception).
It just seems so easy because I have an out. So many people I work with have lived here forever, this is where their families are. They have reasons to stay. And a job is a job. But my family is far away. And there are jobs closer.
But this is my career. I like freaking people out with my stories. :) I'm good at working with inner-city kids. I've never really thought I was that great of a teacher, I just know I'm good with kids. So, "regular" school isn't really an option.
I don't have any idea what to do. It'll be hard to stay and hard to let go.
P.S. I'm at Panera and the weirdest thing is happening. This group of a man, a woman and a teenage looking boy all sat down at separate tables, the woman facing the boy, the boy facing the wall and the man facing the inside of the restaurant but with his back to the woman and the boy. I didn't even know they were together but now they are all talking to each other like this is family dinner. Why aren't they sitting together?? People are soooo weird.
However, I really hate change and I really really love my kids. I get upset every time I think about it. I also enjoy the people that I work with (with one GLARING exception).
It just seems so easy because I have an out. So many people I work with have lived here forever, this is where their families are. They have reasons to stay. And a job is a job. But my family is far away. And there are jobs closer.
But this is my career. I like freaking people out with my stories. :) I'm good at working with inner-city kids. I've never really thought I was that great of a teacher, I just know I'm good with kids. So, "regular" school isn't really an option.
I don't have any idea what to do. It'll be hard to stay and hard to let go.
P.S. I'm at Panera and the weirdest thing is happening. This group of a man, a woman and a teenage looking boy all sat down at separate tables, the woman facing the boy, the boy facing the wall and the man facing the inside of the restaurant but with his back to the woman and the boy. I didn't even know they were together but now they are all talking to each other like this is family dinner. Why aren't they sitting together?? People are soooo weird.
FRUSTRATION.
It's really hard to figure out how to write about this. There is an exhaustive amount of details that may or may not make sense. I'm really emotional about it.* I don't want to sound like a whiner. Oh, well. Here goes.
This woman, my IST, is someone I've talked about before. She was a social studies teacher last year and this is her first year out of the classroom. We'll call her Ms. Sperry. Ms. Sperry loves for things to be "easy." If someone else did her lesson planning, she would be in heaven. She likes being given direction. She likes impressing people.
Ms. Vinson, on the other hand, has her own direction and could give a shit about impressing people.
Last year, Ms. Sperry was upstairs (with the crazies). The kids were really good for her. And as far as I know, nobody really "hated" her. I would hear the kids grumble, but kids grumble about teachers all the time. Anyway, amist all the craziness up there, she never ever left her room. If there was a fight 2 feet from her door, oh well. I'm not trying to really put any judgement in that statement, just that's how she was. Okay, I'm judging. She's not a team player. She didn't ever try to help the teachers who were having problems. She is the queen of, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have problems from them." Okay, so the kids learned absolutely nothing all year. It wasn't "her job" to help those teachers.
Well, now it is. But she doesn't have the teachers whose rooms look like insanity. She has me. And 3 other teachers. Those teachers definitely have classroom management issues (nothing huge) but they are all in their 2nd year of teaching. Last year for them was horrrible, so I'm guessing they are thrilled with any guidance. Or maybe they can just take it better than me.
Anyway, since I've talked to basically everyone about this, several people have said that they think she is jealous of my situation. She wants to teach the advanced kids and work with the teachers who can do their job effectively. (Which makes sense.) So, instead of coming into my room and finding the positive, she is instead looking at how she would do it differently. Which would be fine if she didn't phrase this in ways that make it seem like I have to do everything she says.
What really brought all this to the breaking point was her weekly meeting. I'm supposed to meet with her every Wednesday at 9:30a.m. I forgot twice. Now, I'm sure there is something subconscious about this but I really did forget. She wrote a memo saying I REFUSE (she wrote it like that..like we fought about it or something) to attend meetings. So, because of this, I had to have a meeting with her and one of the asst. principals.
At this meeting, I told them I feel like I'm being attacked. She comes to my room everyday and writes in her notebook for 20 minutes and never tells me what this says. She picks little insignificant things and totally blows them out of proportion. She "suggests" things, but then asks me about implementing her suggestions everyday. (While she is "suggesting," she talks to me like I'm four years old and have stolen cookies.) She asks for something to be done and expects it to be changed immediately. If I tell her she is stressing me out, she says, "No, I'm not." Her positive comments all have to do with my room (it's "pretty"). Or they are so condescending I don't even count them as compliments. (Ex. when she looked at my lesson plan for the first time, she said, "beautiful" like 9 times because she thought I had followed her directions. But if she had looked at any of my previous lesson plans, she would know I changed nothing.)
Her issues with me:
1. I make my kids learn the states. It is not in the curriculum and has nothing to do with what I'm teaching. Their homework every night is to study their states. Every Friday they have to know 10 more and I don't care which 10. This is an EXTREMELY HUGE PROBLEM. Obviously. Because the homework is vague, because I do not give them strategies to learn the states. Because after we had gotten to 30, she gave me some worksheets on making them learn them by region and I did not use them. (Hey kids, remember how I said any 10? Just Kidding! hahahahaha.)
2. Working in groups is not "cooperative learning." You know the strategy, one person is the time keeper, one person is the manager, whatever. Well, one person is supposed to be "the recorder" who turns in all the work. When my kids work in groups, EVERYBODY has to turn in the work. Another EXTREMELY HUGE PROBLEM. In her memo, I "refuse to incorporate cooperative learning" in my classroom.
3. One day, on a shortened schedule, my "warm-up" was "Go to the bookshelf and get your textbook. Turn to pg. 16." Then we were going to start the assignment immediately because I only had 40 minutes. Serious Issue. This warm-up did not align with my curriculum!!!!! Let me repeat that this was one day and one warm-up (I have 3 a day.)
4. I don't write every single thing I'm going to say in my lesson plan. (this is the part about me giving a shit about impressing people and that being her only mission in life)
The asst. principal, who I really like but I also know has her own issues, totally did not listen to anything. She instead decided to make all those ridiculous statements in my previous post. She focused on the fact that I am "sensitive" and Ms. Sperry needs to understand that when talking to me.
She then went on that whole tangent about me not following the curriculum (because I make up my own activities) which no one had ever,ever told me until that meeting. Apparently, the "suggested" activities are not suggested at all. (Somebody really needs to get these people a dictionary.) I don't understand why I get in trouble for teaching the exact same thing in my own way. Who cares? (Oh, "they" do.)
She also was all up in my business because I'm going faster/slower than I'm supposed to. If the curriculum "suggests" I spend 1 week on "Colonial Life" then by God, I will be spending one week teaching colonial life. (But! I only teach them for 18 weeks and the curriculum is set up for 36 weeks!.....So?.....So I won't get to even half of it!......So?.....)
All of this was news to me (Hey! Isn't this your 4th year teaching this exact curriculum? Why yes! It is!) So I spent the 2nd half of the meeting with one of those "What...the...hell..." looks on my face.
What we learned by the end of this meeting is:
I have not been following rules I was not aware existed.
I now must follow these rules, even though I still don't know what most of them are.
Ms. Sperry is no longer allowed to talk to my students when she is in my room, or call me out while I'm teaching. (victory!)
I'm sensitive.
Kids learning things and enjoying social studies is not important.
Me coming up with my own ideas is unacceptable.
I am unhappy with the outcome of this meeting. I've emailed the Director of Social Studies to make sure what they said is the truth. Seriously, I can.not. believe. we have to follow that curriculum to the letter. If it is true, then peace out Baltimore! If its not, we'll see what their reaction to me being right and them being wrong is before we proceed.
whew. if anybody is still with me after all that, congratulations! hope it wasn't too exhausting to read.
*see next post.
This woman, my IST, is someone I've talked about before. She was a social studies teacher last year and this is her first year out of the classroom. We'll call her Ms. Sperry. Ms. Sperry loves for things to be "easy." If someone else did her lesson planning, she would be in heaven. She likes being given direction. She likes impressing people.
Ms. Vinson, on the other hand, has her own direction and could give a shit about impressing people.
Last year, Ms. Sperry was upstairs (with the crazies). The kids were really good for her. And as far as I know, nobody really "hated" her. I would hear the kids grumble, but kids grumble about teachers all the time. Anyway, amist all the craziness up there, she never ever left her room. If there was a fight 2 feet from her door, oh well. I'm not trying to really put any judgement in that statement, just that's how she was. Okay, I'm judging. She's not a team player. She didn't ever try to help the teachers who were having problems. She is the queen of, "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have problems from them." Okay, so the kids learned absolutely nothing all year. It wasn't "her job" to help those teachers.
Well, now it is. But she doesn't have the teachers whose rooms look like insanity. She has me. And 3 other teachers. Those teachers definitely have classroom management issues (nothing huge) but they are all in their 2nd year of teaching. Last year for them was horrrible, so I'm guessing they are thrilled with any guidance. Or maybe they can just take it better than me.
Anyway, since I've talked to basically everyone about this, several people have said that they think she is jealous of my situation. She wants to teach the advanced kids and work with the teachers who can do their job effectively. (Which makes sense.) So, instead of coming into my room and finding the positive, she is instead looking at how she would do it differently. Which would be fine if she didn't phrase this in ways that make it seem like I have to do everything she says.
What really brought all this to the breaking point was her weekly meeting. I'm supposed to meet with her every Wednesday at 9:30a.m. I forgot twice. Now, I'm sure there is something subconscious about this but I really did forget. She wrote a memo saying I REFUSE (she wrote it like that..like we fought about it or something) to attend meetings. So, because of this, I had to have a meeting with her and one of the asst. principals.
At this meeting, I told them I feel like I'm being attacked. She comes to my room everyday and writes in her notebook for 20 minutes and never tells me what this says. She picks little insignificant things and totally blows them out of proportion. She "suggests" things, but then asks me about implementing her suggestions everyday. (While she is "suggesting," she talks to me like I'm four years old and have stolen cookies.) She asks for something to be done and expects it to be changed immediately. If I tell her she is stressing me out, she says, "No, I'm not." Her positive comments all have to do with my room (it's "pretty"). Or they are so condescending I don't even count them as compliments. (Ex. when she looked at my lesson plan for the first time, she said, "beautiful" like 9 times because she thought I had followed her directions. But if she had looked at any of my previous lesson plans, she would know I changed nothing.)
Her issues with me:
1. I make my kids learn the states. It is not in the curriculum and has nothing to do with what I'm teaching. Their homework every night is to study their states. Every Friday they have to know 10 more and I don't care which 10. This is an EXTREMELY HUGE PROBLEM. Obviously. Because the homework is vague, because I do not give them strategies to learn the states. Because after we had gotten to 30, she gave me some worksheets on making them learn them by region and I did not use them. (Hey kids, remember how I said any 10? Just Kidding! hahahahaha.)
2. Working in groups is not "cooperative learning." You know the strategy, one person is the time keeper, one person is the manager, whatever. Well, one person is supposed to be "the recorder" who turns in all the work. When my kids work in groups, EVERYBODY has to turn in the work. Another EXTREMELY HUGE PROBLEM. In her memo, I "refuse to incorporate cooperative learning" in my classroom.
3. One day, on a shortened schedule, my "warm-up" was "Go to the bookshelf and get your textbook. Turn to pg. 16." Then we were going to start the assignment immediately because I only had 40 minutes. Serious Issue. This warm-up did not align with my curriculum!!!!! Let me repeat that this was one day and one warm-up (I have 3 a day.)
4. I don't write every single thing I'm going to say in my lesson plan. (this is the part about me giving a shit about impressing people and that being her only mission in life)
The asst. principal, who I really like but I also know has her own issues, totally did not listen to anything. She instead decided to make all those ridiculous statements in my previous post. She focused on the fact that I am "sensitive" and Ms. Sperry needs to understand that when talking to me.
She then went on that whole tangent about me not following the curriculum (because I make up my own activities) which no one had ever,ever told me until that meeting. Apparently, the "suggested" activities are not suggested at all. (Somebody really needs to get these people a dictionary.) I don't understand why I get in trouble for teaching the exact same thing in my own way. Who cares? (Oh, "they" do.)
She also was all up in my business because I'm going faster/slower than I'm supposed to. If the curriculum "suggests" I spend 1 week on "Colonial Life" then by God, I will be spending one week teaching colonial life. (But! I only teach them for 18 weeks and the curriculum is set up for 36 weeks!.....So?.....So I won't get to even half of it!......So?.....)
All of this was news to me (Hey! Isn't this your 4th year teaching this exact curriculum? Why yes! It is!) So I spent the 2nd half of the meeting with one of those "What...the...hell..." looks on my face.
What we learned by the end of this meeting is:
I have not been following rules I was not aware existed.
I now must follow these rules, even though I still don't know what most of them are.
Ms. Sperry is no longer allowed to talk to my students when she is in my room, or call me out while I'm teaching. (victory!)
I'm sensitive.
Kids learning things and enjoying social studies is not important.
Me coming up with my own ideas is unacceptable.
I am unhappy with the outcome of this meeting. I've emailed the Director of Social Studies to make sure what they said is the truth. Seriously, I can.not. believe. we have to follow that curriculum to the letter. If it is true, then peace out Baltimore! If its not, we'll see what their reaction to me being right and them being wrong is before we proceed.
whew. if anybody is still with me after all that, congratulations! hope it wasn't too exhausting to read.
*see next post.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Possibly The Beginning of The End
I've always known that when I quit this job it would be because of some dumb-ass administrator or city-wide mandate that I totally disagree with. It might be both and it might be soon. Today I had a meeting with my IST and one of the asst. principals to discuss our inability to work together. Quotes from this gigantic waste of time:
"I know you're used to doing things your way. If you wanted to talk about Barack Obama and the election, then you could. But it's not that way anymore. You have to read out of the book and do only what says. You don't have any say in the matter."
"I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Not having to think about what you're teaching should make it easier for you. Why are you so resistant?"
"Having a trial with students as prosecutors and defense attorneys to teach the Salem Witch Trials does not address any skills. Why aren't you addressing skills?"
"You have to go exactly by the curriculum guide. If it says to spend two weeks on this subject, you have to spend two weeks on this subject. It does not matter that you won't get to more than half of the information. What matters is that you follow the rules."
"I know what you're trying to do. You are trying to be a damn good teacher. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that you do what you're told."
Obviously, they don't know me very well.
(More on this subject later.)
"I know you're used to doing things your way. If you wanted to talk about Barack Obama and the election, then you could. But it's not that way anymore. You have to read out of the book and do only what says. You don't have any say in the matter."
"I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Not having to think about what you're teaching should make it easier for you. Why are you so resistant?"
"Having a trial with students as prosecutors and defense attorneys to teach the Salem Witch Trials does not address any skills. Why aren't you addressing skills?"
"You have to go exactly by the curriculum guide. If it says to spend two weeks on this subject, you have to spend two weeks on this subject. It does not matter that you won't get to more than half of the information. What matters is that you follow the rules."
"I know what you're trying to do. You are trying to be a damn good teacher. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that you do what you're told."
Obviously, they don't know me very well.
(More on this subject later.)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Aw Hellz Naw.
So, I feel like I'm sort of getting off track with all these angry posts. But, then I remember that I'm trying to document what it's like in my inner-city school and that involves a lot of anger (usually directed at incompetent adults). So here's another.
Today at 10:30 a.m., a whole bunch of kids start running down the stairs coughing and crying and some are even throwing up.
You guessed it! It's everybody's favorite, the school tradition: Mace Day!
Except this time no police were involved, some thoughtful kid just sprayed it everywhere. We evacuate the building (our windows are bolted shut, so of course there is no way to ventilate.) We stand outside for one hour. Nobody reallly knows what is going on, especially not the kids. We have no idea when/if we are going back inside. Principal is yelling for everyone stand in a line and keep silent (???) Considering the situation, the kids were actually really, really good. No, they weren't silent, but they stayed with their class and nobody fought or did anything crazy. So, props to them.
Now, the angry part. I didn't have a class at the time, but I was walking around to all the 8th graders making sure they weren't being dumb and whatnot. Once it's time to go back inside, all the kids line back up and Principal starts directing them in one class at a time. The special ed class is getting a little loopy so I go over to get them in line. Steven, this one goofy boy, is being...goofy. Anyway, I put him in a headlock (it's what I do...don't ask) and I'm telling him to get in line and not cause any problems.
Act 1, Scene 1
Principal (from 20 feet away, in front of about 200 kids): MISS VINSON!!!!! I NEED YOU TO STOP PLAYING WITH THESE KIDS! I'M TRYING TO GET ORDER!!!
Me (incredulous): WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEY ARE IN ORDER BECAUSE OF ME!
evil psycho: MISS VINSON!!! I NEED YOU TO DO WHAT I SAY!!
beautiful princess: I NEED YOU TO STOP YELLING AT ME LIKE A CHILD! I DON'T HAVE TO HELP AT ALL!
evil psycho: ** glare**
Act 1, Scene 2 (the hallway, 2 hrs later)
I see Mark in the hallway. I say hello to him. That Mean Woman comes around the corner.
She says: MISS VINSON!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STUDENT???
I say: Well, actually, he has this theory on the economical impact of....no, I really just say: "What?"
She repeats, louder and more belligerently.
I say: Um? What? He's not *with* me. He's in the hallway. I said hello to him.
lunatic: I NEED YOU TO STOP TALKING TO THESE STUDENTS!!!
sane person: *laughs*
lunatic: MISS VINSON!!!!!!!
sane person: (has already left because no one is around to enjoy the ridiculousness of that statement.)
Moral of the Story: Punk me and I will punk you right back.
Today at 10:30 a.m., a whole bunch of kids start running down the stairs coughing and crying and some are even throwing up.
You guessed it! It's everybody's favorite, the school tradition: Mace Day!
Except this time no police were involved, some thoughtful kid just sprayed it everywhere. We evacuate the building (our windows are bolted shut, so of course there is no way to ventilate.) We stand outside for one hour. Nobody reallly knows what is going on, especially not the kids. We have no idea when/if we are going back inside. Principal is yelling for everyone stand in a line and keep silent (???) Considering the situation, the kids were actually really, really good. No, they weren't silent, but they stayed with their class and nobody fought or did anything crazy. So, props to them.
Now, the angry part. I didn't have a class at the time, but I was walking around to all the 8th graders making sure they weren't being dumb and whatnot. Once it's time to go back inside, all the kids line back up and Principal starts directing them in one class at a time. The special ed class is getting a little loopy so I go over to get them in line. Steven, this one goofy boy, is being...goofy. Anyway, I put him in a headlock (it's what I do...don't ask) and I'm telling him to get in line and not cause any problems.
Act 1, Scene 1
Principal (from 20 feet away, in front of about 200 kids): MISS VINSON!!!!! I NEED YOU TO STOP PLAYING WITH THESE KIDS! I'M TRYING TO GET ORDER!!!
Me (incredulous): WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEY ARE IN ORDER BECAUSE OF ME!
evil psycho: MISS VINSON!!! I NEED YOU TO DO WHAT I SAY!!
beautiful princess: I NEED YOU TO STOP YELLING AT ME LIKE A CHILD! I DON'T HAVE TO HELP AT ALL!
evil psycho: ** glare**
Act 1, Scene 2 (the hallway, 2 hrs later)
I see Mark in the hallway. I say hello to him. That Mean Woman comes around the corner.
She says: MISS VINSON!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STUDENT???
I say: Well, actually, he has this theory on the economical impact of....no, I really just say: "What?"
She repeats, louder and more belligerently.
I say: Um? What? He's not *with* me. He's in the hallway. I said hello to him.
lunatic: I NEED YOU TO STOP TALKING TO THESE STUDENTS!!!
sane person: *laughs*
lunatic: MISS VINSON!!!!!!!
sane person: (has already left because no one is around to enjoy the ridiculousness of that statement.)
Moral of the Story: Punk me and I will punk you right back.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I Would Be Honored To Attend?
We have this guy at our school. He runs a mentoring program for boys.
We still have that group of about 20 boys that were running the school last year. They all are in some gang or another. They come to school high and beat each other up. They get in trouble all the time.
The mentor guy has decided to have something like a Bad Kids Forum (with a more PC name). He wants to bring all these boys together and do some group mentoring. In order to get them to come, he told them it is a place for them to come talk about their situations without fear of retribution.
Who's gonna be there? they ask. We ain't sayin NOTHIN to principal.
No. Mentor guy says. Only the people you want to be there. People you think will listen to you. People you trust. You tell me.
Oh. okay. We want you, Ms. Vinson and Mr. Clay. Nobody else.
Is it weird that this warms my heart?
We still have that group of about 20 boys that were running the school last year. They all are in some gang or another. They come to school high and beat each other up. They get in trouble all the time.
The mentor guy has decided to have something like a Bad Kids Forum (with a more PC name). He wants to bring all these boys together and do some group mentoring. In order to get them to come, he told them it is a place for them to come talk about their situations without fear of retribution.
Who's gonna be there? they ask. We ain't sayin NOTHIN to principal.
No. Mentor guy says. Only the people you want to be there. People you think will listen to you. People you trust. You tell me.
Oh. okay. We want you, Ms. Vinson and Mr. Clay. Nobody else.
Is it weird that this warms my heart?
The New Girl Has No Clue
We have this brand new Spanish teacher. She's nice.
I hate her.
She only teaches my kids, the advanced ones. The ones who's biggest problem is talking. The ones who all read on grade level and still say "OOOOOOOOO" if somebody curses.
She complains about them.
Today there was some confusion about whether or not our meeting was at 8a.m. or 9a.m. She actually says to me, "This Is Chaos!!"
No, dear. It's not.
I hate her.
She only teaches my kids, the advanced ones. The ones who's biggest problem is talking. The ones who all read on grade level and still say "OOOOOOOOO" if somebody curses.
She complains about them.
Today there was some confusion about whether or not our meeting was at 8a.m. or 9a.m. She actually says to me, "This Is Chaos!!"
No, dear. It's not.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Things That Are Weird In Regular World That Are Regular Here
1. A new kid shows up in class today. He has been on the roll since the beginning of the year, but shows up on the 11th day of school.
"Hey Anthony, where have you been?"
"Home."
"Why didn't you come before today?"
"Didn't mumble want to mumble stayed home mumble mom mumble ain't got no clothes mumble."
"Uh, okay."
2. Shaquell, in 6th grade, should be in 8th: "They said if I don't get suspended anytime between now and Christmas they will put me in my right grade."
3. A kid who threatened another student was then threatened by a teacher who was then threatened by kid's mother. All threats involved bodily harm.
"Hey Anthony, where have you been?"
"Home."
"Why didn't you come before today?"
"Didn't mumble want to mumble stayed home mumble mom mumble ain't got no clothes mumble."
"Uh, okay."
2. Shaquell, in 6th grade, should be in 8th: "They said if I don't get suspended anytime between now and Christmas they will put me in my right grade."
3. A kid who threatened another student was then threatened by a teacher who was then threatened by kid's mother. All threats involved bodily harm.
Uninteresting/Unfunny Angry Post About A Mean Woman
My IST: Bane of my existence.
She comes into my room EVERYDAY to make asinine comments about the work I'm giving my kids, and the way she would do things. Well, if you're so worried about the way you would do it, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND DO IT. I could use some more free time.
In one of my less professional moments, I told her to write down all of her suggestions so I could sign the paper saying I received them. I will then NOT implement any of them.
Anyway, today I had this, let's just say, FREAKING AMAZING lesson for my 8th graders. We did an activity where they were trading items to simulate the triangular trade. (Aren't you excited just reading it?! ha.) It sounded like the stock market in my room or something. They were sooo loud, but really into the activity.
Mean IST Lady was walking by, so I go to the door and tell her she should come observe them now, so she can see them really excited about learning something. She huffed and puffed and acted like I was causing her problems by making her observe me. What. She came in and stood in the corner and said, "Yeah. okay." and left. FINE!
She then comes to me later with a whole hoard of books. These are the new 6th grade books, she says. I had no idea I was getting them, and they are completely different from the ones I have now. They also come with workbooks. The workbooks make no sense if you don't have the Teacher's Guide. or an overhead projector. And you guessed it! I have neither. She tells me I can't use the old books anymore.
Um, Wanna bet?
She comes into my room EVERYDAY to make asinine comments about the work I'm giving my kids, and the way she would do things. Well, if you're so worried about the way you would do it, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND DO IT. I could use some more free time.
In one of my less professional moments, I told her to write down all of her suggestions so I could sign the paper saying I received them. I will then NOT implement any of them.
Anyway, today I had this, let's just say, FREAKING AMAZING lesson for my 8th graders. We did an activity where they were trading items to simulate the triangular trade. (Aren't you excited just reading it?! ha.) It sounded like the stock market in my room or something. They were sooo loud, but really into the activity.
Mean IST Lady was walking by, so I go to the door and tell her she should come observe them now, so she can see them really excited about learning something. She huffed and puffed and acted like I was causing her problems by making her observe me. What. She came in and stood in the corner and said, "Yeah. okay." and left. FINE!
She then comes to me later with a whole hoard of books. These are the new 6th grade books, she says. I had no idea I was getting them, and they are completely different from the ones I have now. They also come with workbooks. The workbooks make no sense if you don't have the Teacher's Guide. or an overhead projector. And you guessed it! I have neither. She tells me I can't use the old books anymore.
Um, Wanna bet?
Monday, September 8, 2008
You Know You're In The Ghetto When...
"Oh! Look! The ice cream truck!...Oh, nevermind, it's the free needle van."
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Heat Day
Most of the schools in our city don't have air conditioning. So, there's a policy that, if it reaches 90 degrees before 11am, we get out of school for a "heat day."
Apparently, on Thursday, there was some confusion about the Heat Day. From what I understand, the television and radio were reporting it before any of the schools knew about it.
My principal, being the genius that she is, announces this at 11:30:
"STUDENTS AND TEACHERS!!!! I have heard that we may get out at noon. I will let you know."
Oh, great. Thanks. Now I will be able to get tons of teaching in. I hope they can hear me over all the WooHooing.
I love me some heat days, but let's wait until we have a definite answer before we announce it to children.
Another one of my principal's many,many perks is her demand for order where order is not really necessary or possible. After she got the word that the kids could leave, we couldn't do it like a normal dismissal, no no.
We had to do it by grade level. Students had to walk in a line, NO TALKING, to their lockers, line BACK up and be escorted to the door by their teacher. 6th graders took 20 minutes, then 7th graders could go, then 8th graders. I had 8th graders at the time, so we spent about 30 minutes staring at each other just thinking, "Oh, no. We're never leaving." They finally got out of there at 1245.
Wooooooooooooooooo Heat Day!
Apparently, on Thursday, there was some confusion about the Heat Day. From what I understand, the television and radio were reporting it before any of the schools knew about it.
My principal, being the genius that she is, announces this at 11:30:
"STUDENTS AND TEACHERS!!!! I have heard that we may get out at noon. I will let you know."
Oh, great. Thanks. Now I will be able to get tons of teaching in. I hope they can hear me over all the WooHooing.
I love me some heat days, but let's wait until we have a definite answer before we announce it to children.
Another one of my principal's many,many perks is her demand for order where order is not really necessary or possible. After she got the word that the kids could leave, we couldn't do it like a normal dismissal, no no.
We had to do it by grade level. Students had to walk in a line, NO TALKING, to their lockers, line BACK up and be escorted to the door by their teacher. 6th graders took 20 minutes, then 7th graders could go, then 8th graders. I had 8th graders at the time, so we spent about 30 minutes staring at each other just thinking, "Oh, no. We're never leaving." They finally got out of there at 1245.
Wooooooooooooooooo Heat Day!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Vocabulary
So, you know how some kids will hear a new word, and then proceed to say it all the time, whether or not it actually fits into context? If you don't know what I mean...well, the story is still funny.
Autumn's word is "feces." I have no clue where she heard it, but she has been telling me for about a week now, "I would turn in my work, but it is feces." "Ugh, Rasheed smells like feces." etc.
I don't know if anybody else had heard her telling me these things, but nobody asked what the word meant. Yesterday, there was a balled up sheet of paper on the ground by her desk. She went to sit down and this is what happened:
Autumn: Ew. I can't sit here, there is feces underneath my desk.
Everyone else in class: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FECES!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!GROSS!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
WHAT IS FECES??????!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
NO REALLY, WHAT IS FECES??????????
Autumn's word is "feces." I have no clue where she heard it, but she has been telling me for about a week now, "I would turn in my work, but it is feces." "Ugh, Rasheed smells like feces." etc.
I don't know if anybody else had heard her telling me these things, but nobody asked what the word meant. Yesterday, there was a balled up sheet of paper on the ground by her desk. She went to sit down and this is what happened:
Autumn: Ew. I can't sit here, there is feces underneath my desk.
Everyone else in class: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FECES!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!GROSS!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
WHAT IS FECES??????!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
NO REALLY, WHAT IS FECES??????????
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Love Can Touch Us One Time...
For some reason, our school district recruits heavily in the Phillipines. We have about 10 teachers at my school from there. Many of them have never been to America before coming here to teach. Mr. C is one of those people. His English is very, very formal and sometimes hard to understand. Except,
this morning when I was walking past his room. Mr. C was, literally, yelling the lyrics to that Titanic song, "My Heart Will Go On." He was all by himself, with the music blasting, head tilted up, his eyes closed, clutching his heart.
Hey, whatever helps you get through the day.
this morning when I was walking past his room. Mr. C was, literally, yelling the lyrics to that Titanic song, "My Heart Will Go On." He was all by himself, with the music blasting, head tilted up, his eyes closed, clutching his heart.
Hey, whatever helps you get through the day.
He's What?
One of the hardest parts of teaching is trying to figure out what your kids know and what they don't know. I don't want to spend 20 minutes talking about something just to have them stare at me like I have three eyes.
This week, we were doing a lessons on the Code of Conduct (because I have to) and I told them to write me a paragraph on a person who is their role model. I knew I was going to have to back it up a few steps when Tayshawn's paragraph started out like this:
"Well, my romodel is my dad..."
This week, we were doing a lessons on the Code of Conduct (because I have to) and I told them to write me a paragraph on a person who is their role model. I knew I was going to have to back it up a few steps when Tayshawn's paragraph started out like this:
"Well, my romodel is my dad..."
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