Turncoat

Some background: Several of my students are in a gang that was originally loosely based on movements in the 60s and 70s that focused on socialism. Basically the only thing they have left from those ties is the fact that they call each other "comrades."

This week in my class, we're watching both the Barack Obama and John McCain biographies. All of them would boo when I mentioned McCain but I told them I had to be fair. Today, we watched his biography. At one point, he's giving a speech that begins, "Friends, comrades..."

Dervon: WAIT!! Aw, heck naw! McCain is a comrade?! Oh, forget Barack Obama then! Go McCain!"

You Can Vote However You Like

(thanks Amanda.)

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxlwYP0HNdc&feature=related

family

6th period:

Me: Carlton! UNLESS you are finished with your essay there should be NO WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!

Carlton: You're a mean aunt.

Am I In Your Top Eight?

So I was in the math teacher's room wandering around because I tend to procrastinate. In one corner there are a pile of folders that the 8th grader keep their work in. I started looking at them for no reason. They're hysterical. It's the regular middle school stuff like "Brittany LUVS blahblah" and blahblah's name has been erased and re-written like 15 times. or there's a list. Brittany LUVS deonte, damonte, eric and tony. Then I found Tiana's.
This girl's math folder is like some low-tech myspace profile.

~~***TiAnA***~~~ Soulja Gurrrl!!!
my mood is__bOOreddd__

status:
single [ ]
taken [ ]
crushin' [x]

The Theme of the Year is "Seriously??!!"

So, I forgot to tell you about the previously mentioned awesome budgeting lesson: it was my Formal Observation. (You know, twice a year they come in and make sure you don't suck...) Anyway, I was really happy because I got the one vice-principal who is not insane and/or worthless. Last year, my evaluation from her basically puked praise.
She walked around my room looking at things. She told me my room was "beautiful" and she laughed at what the kids were saying. She said, "oh, that's really cool" like 5 times. Things were on track for the same glowing recommendation.
I think we all know where this is going.
She pulled me aside the next day.
VP: Um, Ms. Vinson, you didn't teach them anything.
Me: Uh, what?
VP: You weren't teaching.
(Oh, sidenote, anytime faculty are assembled for any reason, principal screams at us about "letting the children teach each other" and "stop lecturing these students" and "hands on manipulatives" and all that. She's been known to drop in classrooms and scream "WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING?!!" Also, I have many faults, but too much direct instruction is not one of them.)
Me: Well, you did come in late (15 minutes) so I had already explained the activi--
VP: Giving directions isn't teaching.
Me: Oooookay. Well, it was an introductory lesson on economics. They made a personal budget, and then, you were there, at the end of the class we talked about how countries also have to make decisions about how to spend money--
VP: Summarizing isn't teaching either. What I'm trying to tell you is, you have to have another Formal Observation...and you have to teach them something. I don't want you to get in trouble for not teaching, so I'm not going to tell anybody.
Me: Thanks so much.

Bingo Caller $19,000

So, one of my favorite lessons of the year is when we first start economics (I know, right.) I make them draw careers out of a hat and do a personal budget. People like my IST hate this type of lesson because the kids get really loud and its not actually in my curriculum (yes, I'm a horrible person.)
BUT if they would take a second to actually listen to what the kids are being so loud about, it's freaking hilarious.

"I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!!!!"

"That's it. Ramen noodles for everybody."

"I'm a DOCTOR!!! TAKE THAT BITC-oh, I apologize for cursing miss vinson."

(a note written on one of the budget sheets): I don't have to pay rent because Rasheed said I could live with him so I could eat.

THEN, out of another hat, I make them draw situations like, "The refridgerator broke, $500." A few of them are pretty minor, "School Field Trips, $15 per kid"

"Ain't NOBODY in THIS HOUSE going on NO FIELD TRIP. I got bills to pay!"

I Think They Call These "Teachable Moments"

So, I was sitting at the table with two 6th grade girls, Mercedes and Shanice, this morning while they were working. We were talking about traveling.

Mercedes: Dang, Miss Vinson, you been everywhere!

Shanice: You ever been to Maryland?

Me: Um, Sha-

Mercedes: We in Maryland dummy!

Shanice: No, we in Baltimore.

But Her Heart Is Three Sizes Too Small

"Heathahh!" Principal said to me. "I need you to be the Student Government Advisor!"
"Errrrr...I don't know.."
"Great! The meeting is Thursday. Here's the paperwork. I already signed you up. Thanks Heathahh."

So I go to this meeting against my will. I am told at this meeting that I need to immediately: 1. ask my principal for $11,000, 2. have her arrange transportation so that me and 5-10 students can attend meetings which occur monthly and last throughout the entire school day and 3. beg that she pay me a stipend to do this (because the organization itself can't force her to)

To all of those things I say, hahahahahahahhha.
Eleven THOUSAND dollars?
Miss school once a month?
Expect her to pay me for something I'm already doing for free?

Oh, and I forgot to mention that one of her weirdo rules is that each HOMEROOM elect a president, vice-president, treasurer, secretary, parlimentarian and 2 representatives. So as of right now, my SGA runs at about 126 people in a school with 400 kids. And everyone has a title. Awesome.

Second Verse, Same As the First

My principal is the craziest woman I've ever met. The problem is I don't know if it's all an act or if she really needs medication.
Today was the perfect example. Usually, report cards are given out on half-days. The kids get out early and their parents are supposed to come pick up the report cards. Progress reports, on the other hand, are to be given directly to the kids. No parent/teacher interaction necessary.
Well, last Friday was Progress Report day. We weren't given them to hand out to the kids, we were given them after the they left. Two parents showed up. I put the progress reports back in the Assistant Principal's mailbox. This morning, they were back in my mailbox. During homeroom, I passed out the remaining Progress Reports to the students.
BIG HUGE PROBLEM!!!
Progress Reports are to be turned into the OFFICE (did that) and only given out to parents (tried that)!!!
Um, since when?
She does this, literally, all the time. I'm talking, 3-5 times a day. She heavily enforces rules she just made up moments before and she CANNOT BELIEVE you have the AUDACITY to not obey them. Sometimes I swear it's like some mind game.
Also, every morning she'll come over the intercom and say, "Teachers, I need you to come out in the hallway and get on your post of duty. Be ready to Meet and Greet our students." Then, less than 5 minutes later she'll see me in the hallway and say, "Miss! Vin! Son! Stop talking to those students!"
"I'm MEETING AND GREETING!"
"Don't you sass me."
Then I'm "Miss! Vin!Son! for two weeks until she needs something and i'm suddenly, "Heathaahh"

The Difference Between Us

Now, IST Ms. Sperry hasn't been horrible to me this week. Actually I haven't really seen her that much. (Yaay!)
But I was talking to another social studies teacher. He knows her pretty well and told me a couple of pieces of "advice"she gave him:

1. Don't ever, EVER go to a student's desk to help them. Stay at your desk, have them raise their hand and answer the question without getting up. (I guess this is some sort of "power" move?)

2. The kids are mosquitos. They will suck your blood. (I really have no idea what this was in reference to, or what it really means.)

3. Don't do anything to help them that is not school related.

Man, if I came to work everyday and I pictured the students as my enemies, it would get pretty tiring. I can't imagine being a teacher and not liking children. It makes no sense.

Is this why she hates me? I mean I go so far as to call them my children. I'll even tell some of them that them getting in trouble with other teachers makes me look bad. I never sit at my desk. If I sit anywhere, it's at a student desk with a group.
What, am I like a traitor or something? Fraternizing with the enemy?
What a freakin' weirdo.

"O, hi, o. I want a Minne sota, but I don't want to pay any texas on it."
-Shawna, 7th grade.

It's not even funny but I almost cried I was laughing so hard.

Fun Facts of the Week

• Mr. E had lit firecrackers thrown into his room.
• Somebody busted out one of the windows in the gym...during class.
• During 2nd period, Mr. M was punched in the mouth by a student. He did not react whatsoever. During last period, kids just kept running into his room, hitting him and running off. wtf.
• We had a Very Important Meeting for all of our IB kids. There were 12 teachers and 8 parents...out of 95.
• Our air conditioning has been turned off. It's literally 90+ degrees in the whole building.