Oh, but I have yelled at adults. We spoke of Captain Obvious the other day. He actually came up to me and apologized and said I was right so I'm not going to get him fired. (I did find out his salary isn't amazing or anything, so I'm mollified.) So while I'm going to continue not listening to his dumb advice and checking him when he's getting condescending, he is no longer my current archnemesis.
No, no. Her name is Smarty Pants. She works for the Turnaround Company. Her supposed job is to work with the Language Arts teachers on their curriculum. (She is the one who, at the end of last year, told me that I shouldn't make my kids read.) Anyways, today she wanted to work with the Social Studies teachers.
Imagine you are the parent of a rambunctious five year old, and some "expert" who doesn't have children makes you sit through a two hour powerpoint and role-playing session in which you are informed of the concept of "time-out." Around slide two, you want to scream at her, DO YOU THINK I AM THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE? You want to ask her, You realize I've had this child for five years, right? You are curious as to how she could possibly think you have never heard of this before. You can't believe someone gets paid actual money to tell you these things. (After her presentation, you'll get another one on why you shouldn't let your child drink 8 sodas a day.)
Anyway, she does this completely bullshit presentation, at one point outright saying that social studies teachers "resist" teaching vocabulary. You are absolutely right, Smarty Pants. I will do an entire lesson on monarchy, democracy, theocracy, etc. and if these 11 year olds don't already know those words then screw them! I don't care if you've never heard the word Mesopotamia, I'm just going to keep talking! It's not like I have to teach them or anything!
Well, anyways, I was super pissed off, so I just started ignoring her powerpoint and writing in my notebook.
THIS WOMAN comes over to me and says in her bitchy teacher voice, "Excuse me, but if you need to leave, you are welcome to."
No! Of course not! I love that you have an entire powerpoint to insult me! Please! Please give me more!
Actually I just said, "Oh, no, I am juuuuust fine." Because you know, even if she thinks it, I actually am not a child.
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