Jimmy

I had forgotten about this one until I told my brother the other day.

I taught Jimmy starting 4 years ago when he was in 6th grade. He was just good enough and just bad enough to be one of my favorites then. When he was in 7th grade, I no longer taught him. He turned into the bully of the school. Kids were scared of him; he was the leader of one of the kid gangs. He never went to class, just wandered around the building giving people dirty looks and fighting. It was really bad. I would still always talk to him and he was still always great to me, but it's hard to convince a child something different than what their father is telling them to do.

Jimmy was the kind of kid I always found interesting. He was really into the gang stuff, but he never seemed to take it as seriously as everyone else. I think it was a game to him, to see how many kids he could get to follow him or be scared of him. Being successful didn't make him feel better about himself, it made him feel worse about everybody else. I think he was disappointed that everyone fell so easily in line with his bullying.

He has also told me more than once that if anyone ever threatened me or hurt me, he would kill them.

Jimmy got put out at the end of 7th grade. He was in and out of alternative schools, but I still occasionally saw him hanging out outside the building after school.

Earlier this year, I was at one of Taurus' football games. It was an away game across town. I see this kid, who looks just like Jimmy. Except he can't be Jimmy, because he has on a school uniform with his shirt tucked in. He's leaving school at 3:30 and he has...a backpack. With books in it.

He sees me and comes up. He gives me a hug and tells me he just got out of detention...for chewing gum in class. "You stayed for detention? You have on a uniform? Who ARE you?"

He laughed and told me his mother had been in a car accident a few years before. She got a large settlement. Her and Jimmy got a nice house in the county. He got away from all those kids, that nasty environment around my school.

"Screw that gangster shi--stuff. I'm getting my education now. I don't have time for those clowns and their dumb games. I know it's time to grow up now."

I Will Also Drive Below the Speed Limit In the Left Lane

What I've learned about myself is this: I am more than likely going to be one of those "YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!!!" old people. I kindof rant for no apparent reason and I find joy in pointing out absurdities. I also haven't been in school since February 5th, and I've had a lot of time on my hands to think about things that get on my nerves (much like if I were a retired old person who spent my days thinking about how those damn kids were going to ruin my begonias).

This is something that gets on my nerves:

I do a lot of field trip planning at school. I like it. It's fun to go on trips, I enjoy organizing stuff like that. Nobody else wants to do it, and I like it so I do it.
I had originally planned to do the work for the 7th grade and 8th grade end of the year trips to Six Flags. If you get the ball rolling now, things are a lot less stressful April-ish.

I go to principal for her take on the trips (can we use school money for buses, what day is best to go, which Six Flags should we go to, etc.) She acts all hesitant and whatnot and says that the 8th graders don't "deserve" to go anywhere. They did this last year with the prom and the Lion King and Six Flags and every other trip I've ever planned. At the beginning they act like they are not going to let it happen and then by their good graces they bestow a gift upon these undeserving minions. So then we can all be grateful to Principal for how nice and wonderful and giving she is. Or whatever.

But the problem is, I NEED TO PLAN THE TRIP NOW. I don't have time for you to hem and haw and make sure it looks like the whole trip is your idea. I mean damn, I'll announce it to the kids and put it on the permission slip. THIS ONE WAS PRINCIPAL'S IDEA. SAY THANK YOU. if it means I can get the go-ahead today instead of next month. WHATEVER.

Secondly, not a single kid deserves to go? I find that hard to believe. Just because you don't discipline the 20 hanging out in the stairwell doesn't mean there aren't 100 in the classroom at least attempting to learn something.

Thirdly, what kind of punishment is it to take away something that never existed? That's like telling me I can't go on a cruise tomorrow. Well, duh. Of course I can't go on a cruise tomorrow. Now, if I had my suitcases packed and tickets in my hand and THEN you told me I couldn't go, that might mean something. Or if all my friends were going and I couldn't. THEN I might try to fix my behavior. But to just randomly tell me I can't do things I wasn't going to do anyway? What kind of sense does that make?

I Should Just Probably Swing By Their House and Pick Them Up

I have always been aware that my job involves more than just teaching. In fact, that's the part I like. Making lessons and activities and figuring out how to make them listen has always seemed pretty annoying and tedious to me. I like getting to know kids and helping them through problems. I like teaching them social skills and basically mothering them. At the beginning of each school year I spend about $200 buying basic school supplies for the kids who can't or won't get any. I always have paper and pencils on hand. I usually pay for about 5 kids to go on whatever field trip is scheduled at the time. I keep food in my cabinet to give to kids who are hungry. I am always updating my first aid kit because our school nurse is overworked and sometimes kids just need a band-aid and a pat on the head.
I'm not writing this to talk about how great I am. I'm saying I realize this is an unspoken part of my job and I am okay with it.

I'm also saying it so I'll sound like less of a brat when I complain about what I'm about to complain about.

We got an email yesterday from our CEO asking teachers to go clear the sidewalks at our schools of snow and ice so the kids can walk. around the school and "the area surrounding the school" and "the routes children who walk take" so I can "carve out a safe path." So I just spent 3 days shoveling out my car, and my driveway and my STREET for that matter (4 days since last snowfall...not a plow to be found in my neighborhood) and now I need to go down to my school's neighborhood and shovel them out too?

I get it. "We're all in this together" and blah blah. It just seems like the only time "we're all in this together" comes up is when somebody wants me to do something extra.

My sensible self knows this isn't really THAT big of a deal. But its just SOMETHING ELSE and it really pisses me off. I'm tired of being taken advantage of because I love my kids and they know I love my kids. They give me a shitty schedule because they know I won't just give up because that wouldn't be fair to the kids. They toss me around and treat me bad and make me jump through hoops because they know I'll do it for the kids. AND NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO SHOVEL SOMEBODY ELSE'S NEIGHBORHOOD!

Thoughts On Merit Pay

So the new trend in education is for politicians, etc. to demand that teachers get "merit pay". i.e. a teacher's salary would depend on how well his or her students do on standardized testing. Which, I guess, if you have no idea what you're talking about, makes perfect sense.
I get that there are crap teachers out there and we've all had one or two or five. I get that there should be some way to get those teachers out of schools. I'm just not sure merit pay is where it's at.
Most detractors will say that merit pay would keep the good teachers out of the bad schools. Schools like mine wouldn't have any decent teachers because they could get paid better at a school where the scores were more likely to be high. The argument against that is that teachers would be judged on a how a student's scores improved from year to year, not necessarily a good score, just better than before.

Well, that makes sense. However, these are my issues with that whole scenario:

1. I got a new kid two weeks ago. We take state tests at the beginning of March. To which teacher are his tests attributed to? I've barely taught him, yet he will take the test in my room. I've gained and lost almost 50 kids this year. What happens to their scores? What about a kid who I got 2 months ago? 3?

2. I teach Social Studies, which is not a tested subject. What am I "graded" on? Reading scores? What about the gym teacher? What's he graded on?

3. What if the Reading teacher quits half-way through the year? Or the kids always have a long-term substitute in that room? What if my principal doesn't like me and puts me on a team with a whole bunch of crappy teachers? I only get them 1/4 of the school day, how can you judge me based on what happens the rest of the time?

4. What if the teachers from the year before somehow inflated test scores? (This happens a lot when we see 5th grade scores and then we actually teach those kids...how can you read on a first grade level but get Advanced in both reading and math?) Can I petition someone before those kids take the test to let it be known I think their previous scores are inaccurate?

5. What about teachers who teach Advanced kids? Are they going to be punished if their students, who were previously reading 3 grade levels ahead, aren't now reading 5 grade levels ahead? If they already got advanced on the state tests, there's really no where else to go.

I think there's this whole idea that if you've been in a classroom (which everyone has) then you know what it means to be a teacher. And there's clear ways to measure how good or bad a teacher is. Unfortunately, it's not that simple. If it were simple, it would have been in place a long time ago.

Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to make more money when my kids do a good job. I just have my doubts as to how it would be possible for that to happen.

The Big Decision (Audience Participation Time)

Okay, people. Here's the deal. Last week I got an email from Hopkins about joining their Counseling Fellows Program. In case you didn't know, I'm already taking classes to become a school counselor. At the rate I'm going (about 2 classes a semester), it will take me another 2+ years to finish up this degree.

The Counseling Fellows is a one year deal. I could have my counseling degree by next August and a job in time for the 2011-2012 school year.

Here's the problem: I'll have to quit my job. Now, before you get selfish and panic about the state of the blog, I'll tell you I will have to intern in a school (quite possibly my own) for the year. The blog will not die. Now, quitting is not really the problem as I've been tired of teaching for quite some time now. I know counseling is what I want to do. The real problem would be money. I would have no job and be acquiring a crapload of loans on top of the ones I am already paying back. Now, since this is my 5th year in a Title 1 school, some of my curent loans are being forgiven by the federal government. And there's also something called Public Service Forgiveness where, if I pay my monthly bill for 10 years while I work in Public Service the whole time, at the end of the ten years the remainder of my loans are forgiven.
However, giving up a perfectly fine job with awesome benefits and health insurance is very scary to me. Granted, once I get my degree, I would consider jobs all over the country and be open to just about anywhere not sucky. But the next year would be a very uncertain time and I don't like uncertainty.
I don't like not having any money. I don't like adding on more student loans. I don't like giving up a job with out the promise of a new one. I don't like worrying about my rent and my car payment and food.
I don't like my job anymore. Who the heck even knows what is going on with my school, I may not even have a job there next year anyway. Who knows if I would even want one. I don't really like Baltimore anymore and am ready for a change. However, I've already invested money into this grad program and you can't transfer credits like in undergrad.
I could keep on working at school and pay-as-I-go for 3 more years or I can get it all done by next August and be drowning in debt.

Now it's your turn. This is the audience participation part of our program. Tell me what you think. What should I do? I'm going for at least five comments here, kids. I'm talking to you, person I don't know who reads this. I'm talking to you, friend who reads but never comments. I'm definitely talking to you, faithful commentators. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

Revisiting the Good Times, Part II

This one is "Prom." I used to have issues with 8th graders having a Prom, and I still get how people would have a problem with it. But very few of my kids went to the same high school together, many of them may not graduate high school or be there for the prom and you know what, sometimes its just okay to have a nice party and let some kids have a good time.

Anyway, I busted my ass for this thing. Other teachers mega slacked off and everything fell on my shoulders. Principal spent a little extra time making hoops for me to jump through (of course), so it's pretty much a miracle that everything worked out.


The kids said they loved it. Another middle school was having a prom in the next ballroom, and those kids kept trying to come to ours because they said it was better. WIN.

Revisiting the Good Times, Part I

Most of these pictures and stories are on facebook, so sorry for the repeat. But since I'm stuck in my house for the.rest.of.my.life. then I'm going to think about the fun times.

First, the trip to NYC to see the Lion King.

It's about a 3 hour drive, and we took 2 Coach buses (50 people per bus, 100 total.)
Somewhere around exit 4 on the Jersey Turnpike, our bus pulled over unexpectedly. He called the other bus and told them to pull over too. He drove up to the other bus and the two bus drivers stood around and stared at the bus for a little while.

We all kind of started freaking out. We had reservations at B.B. King's restaurant in Times Square and then the play. This trip took months and months of preparation and lots of donor dollars to get going, and Broadway does not stop for broke-down buses. So the bus driver has the brilliant and illegal idea to put all 100 of us on one bus and drive into the city. We agree because we are desperate to get there on time. They tell us the other bus will take half an hour to fix and they'll catch up to us after the play.

We pulled in only ten minutes late to our meal, and walked over to the restaurant. My grown badass gangster boys held my hand through Times Square under the guise of "keeping me safe" but I know they were terrified. It was so cute.

Some eating lunch pictures:








We ate and then walked over to the play. It was, of course, amazing. Lion King on Broadway is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

But we came outside at 5pm to ONE BUS. They said our old bus was totaled. If we had stayed in it any longer, it would have caught on fire. Awesome. They say it's now in a bus repair shop outside of Princeton, New Jersey...with all our stuff in it.

They say another bus is "on the way" to pick us up and take us home. It's a New York company though and they won't take us past New Jersey. So we'll have to take this bus to Exit 1 on the Turnpike, and change to a Baltimore bus there. After we go to this repair shop and get our stuff.

It's 5pm. We stand in Times Square with 90 kids FOR TWO HOURS waiting on this bus. We couldn't let the kids wander around (we were told the bus would "be there any minute") At 7pm (the time we were supposed to be getting home), the bus finally shows up. Waiting in Times Square should have been really stressful, but the kids were great. They made games of counting how many people were wearing all black and trying to make mean New Yorkers say hello to them. It was pretty funny.

We then made the 5 hour drive home (that's right...FIVE) and got back just after midnight.

Everything seemed to go wrong, but nothing actually bad happened and we had a great time. Definitely one of memories. Thank you to everybody who sponsored a child for this trip.

SNOMG

30 inches on Saturday plus another 20 forecasted for tomorrow. We may not be back in school until March.

Let's hope Principal uses this time to sit back and reflect on the decisions she has made. (Like a grown-up timeout.)

Awwwkward.

So we had a meeting. Our school has been identified as "low-performing." There are nine low-performing middle schools and some of them are closing. We are not closing, but instead are being put into a "turnaround model." This means an "outside partner" (whatever that means) will come in and fix us. Supposedly 50% of the staff will be fired.

Principal got up in front of the whole staff and said that the only reason we aren't closing is because of the IB program (which is actually the biggest joke ever). She then proceeded to tell everyone that the rest of the staff should thank us for their jobs.

Also during this meeting, she told us that she "could've retired yesterday" so these problems we're having "aren't her problems" and it's "up to us" to get this stuff together. She said that if our standardized tests come back low then she is going to retire because she doesn't want to deal with it, but if they are high then she will stay on (to take the credit).

It really makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Spreadsheets are hard.

For those of you who've been on the edge of your seat waiting for the new schedule, today is the day. That's right. January 22 was the beginning of the 2nd semester and today, February 5th, is the day we received the schedule for the 2nd semester.

And it's crap.

Of course it's crap. Why would it be decent? They are giving me a new class of 7th graders and taking away my sweet 6th graders because they hate me and want me to hate myself. That's the theory I'm working with now, anyway.

Several teachers spoke with Principal about possible scheduling options, one of the office workers even made a perfectly feasible and logical schedule. One of the administrators made 3 separate schedules and Principal rejected them all in favor of her assbackwards version.

This schedule was handed out today 10 minutes before school let out, it starts Monday and Principal was "too busy" to talk about it today after school.

We did, however, listen to extensive rants about how difficult and time consuming and stressful and etc. etc. etc. the schedule process was. yaaay.