Possibly The Beginning of The End

I've always known that when I quit this job it would be because of some dumb-ass administrator or city-wide mandate that I totally disagree with. It might be both and it might be soon. Today I had a meeting with my IST and one of the asst. principals to discuss our inability to work together. Quotes from this gigantic waste of time:

"I know you're used to doing things your way. If you wanted to talk about Barack Obama and the election, then you could. But it's not that way anymore. You have to read out of the book and do only what says. You don't have any say in the matter."

"I don't understand why this is such a big deal. Not having to think about what you're teaching should make it easier for you. Why are you so resistant?"

"Having a trial with students as prosecutors and defense attorneys to teach the Salem Witch Trials does not address any skills. Why aren't you addressing skills?"

"You have to go exactly by the curriculum guide. If it says to spend two weeks on this subject, you have to spend two weeks on this subject. It does not matter that you won't get to more than half of the information. What matters is that you follow the rules."

"I know what you're trying to do. You are trying to be a damn good teacher. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that you do what you're told."

Obviously, they don't know me very well.

(More on this subject later.)

Do You Think She's Still Mad?

I was told today, by my principal, that I "talk to kids too much."

Aw Hellz Naw.

So, I feel like I'm sort of getting off track with all these angry posts. But, then I remember that I'm trying to document what it's like in my inner-city school and that involves a lot of anger (usually directed at incompetent adults). So here's another.

Today at 10:30 a.m., a whole bunch of kids start running down the stairs coughing and crying and some are even throwing up.
You guessed it! It's everybody's favorite, the school tradition: Mace Day!
Except this time no police were involved, some thoughtful kid just sprayed it everywhere. We evacuate the building (our windows are bolted shut, so of course there is no way to ventilate.) We stand outside for one hour. Nobody reallly knows what is going on, especially not the kids. We have no idea when/if we are going back inside. Principal is yelling for everyone stand in a line and keep silent (???) Considering the situation, the kids were actually really, really good. No, they weren't silent, but they stayed with their class and nobody fought or did anything crazy. So, props to them.
Now, the angry part. I didn't have a class at the time, but I was walking around to all the 8th graders making sure they weren't being dumb and whatnot. Once it's time to go back inside, all the kids line back up and Principal starts directing them in one class at a time. The special ed class is getting a little loopy so I go over to get them in line. Steven, this one goofy boy, is being...goofy. Anyway, I put him in a headlock (it's what I do...don't ask) and I'm telling him to get in line and not cause any problems.

Act 1, Scene 1
Principal (from 20 feet away, in front of about 200 kids): MISS VINSON!!!!! I NEED YOU TO STOP PLAYING WITH THESE KIDS! I'M TRYING TO GET ORDER!!!

Me (incredulous): WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEY ARE IN ORDER BECAUSE OF ME!

evil psycho: MISS VINSON!!! I NEED YOU TO DO WHAT I SAY!!

beautiful princess: I NEED YOU TO STOP YELLING AT ME LIKE A CHILD! I DON'T HAVE TO HELP AT ALL!

evil psycho: ** glare**

Act 1, Scene 2 (the hallway, 2 hrs later)
I see Mark in the hallway. I say hello to him. That Mean Woman comes around the corner.

She says: MISS VINSON!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT STUDENT???

I say: Well, actually, he has this theory on the economical impact of....no, I really just say: "What?"

She repeats, louder and more belligerently.
I say: Um? What? He's not *with* me. He's in the hallway. I said hello to him.

lunatic: I NEED YOU TO STOP TALKING TO THESE STUDENTS!!!

sane person: *laughs*

lunatic: MISS VINSON!!!!!!!

sane person: (has already left because no one is around to enjoy the ridiculousness of that statement.)

Moral of the Story: Punk me and I will punk you right back.

I Would Be Honored To Attend?

We have this guy at our school. He runs a mentoring program for boys.
We still have that group of about 20 boys that were running the school last year. They all are in some gang or another. They come to school high and beat each other up. They get in trouble all the time.
The mentor guy has decided to have something like a Bad Kids Forum (with a more PC name). He wants to bring all these boys together and do some group mentoring. In order to get them to come, he told them it is a place for them to come talk about their situations without fear of retribution.
Who's gonna be there? they ask. We ain't sayin NOTHIN to principal.
No. Mentor guy says. Only the people you want to be there. People you think will listen to you. People you trust. You tell me.
Oh. okay. We want you, Ms. Vinson and Mr. Clay. Nobody else.

Is it weird that this warms my heart?

The New Girl Has No Clue

We have this brand new Spanish teacher. She's nice.
I hate her.
She only teaches my kids, the advanced ones. The ones who's biggest problem is talking. The ones who all read on grade level and still say "OOOOOOOOO" if somebody curses.
She complains about them.
Today there was some confusion about whether or not our meeting was at 8a.m. or 9a.m. She actually says to me, "This Is Chaos!!"

No, dear. It's not.

Things That Are Weird In Regular World That Are Regular Here

1. A new kid shows up in class today. He has been on the roll since the beginning of the year, but shows up on the 11th day of school.
"Hey Anthony, where have you been?"
"Home."
"Why didn't you come before today?"
"Didn't mumble want to mumble stayed home mumble mom mumble ain't got no clothes mumble."
"Uh, okay."

2. Shaquell, in 6th grade, should be in 8th: "They said if I don't get suspended anytime between now and Christmas they will put me in my right grade."

3. A kid who threatened another student was then threatened by a teacher who was then threatened by kid's mother. All threats involved bodily harm.

Uninteresting/Unfunny Angry Post About A Mean Woman

My IST: Bane of my existence.
She comes into my room EVERYDAY to make asinine comments about the work I'm giving my kids, and the way she would do things. Well, if you're so worried about the way you would do it, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND DO IT. I could use some more free time.
In one of my less professional moments, I told her to write down all of her suggestions so I could sign the paper saying I received them. I will then NOT implement any of them.
Anyway, today I had this, let's just say, FREAKING AMAZING lesson for my 8th graders. We did an activity where they were trading items to simulate the triangular trade. (Aren't you excited just reading it?! ha.) It sounded like the stock market in my room or something. They were sooo loud, but really into the activity.
Mean IST Lady was walking by, so I go to the door and tell her she should come observe them now, so she can see them really excited about learning something. She huffed and puffed and acted like I was causing her problems by making her observe me. What. She came in and stood in the corner and said, "Yeah. okay." and left. FINE!
She then comes to me later with a whole hoard of books. These are the new 6th grade books, she says. I had no idea I was getting them, and they are completely different from the ones I have now. They also come with workbooks. The workbooks make no sense if you don't have the Teacher's Guide. or an overhead projector. And you guessed it! I have neither. She tells me I can't use the old books anymore.
Um, Wanna bet?

You Know You're In The Ghetto When...

"Oh! Look! The ice cream truck!...Oh, nevermind, it's the free needle van."

Heat Day

Most of the schools in our city don't have air conditioning. So, there's a policy that, if it reaches 90 degrees before 11am, we get out of school for a "heat day."
Apparently, on Thursday, there was some confusion about the Heat Day. From what I understand, the television and radio were reporting it before any of the schools knew about it.
My principal, being the genius that she is, announces this at 11:30:
"STUDENTS AND TEACHERS!!!! I have heard that we may get out at noon. I will let you know."
Oh, great. Thanks. Now I will be able to get tons of teaching in. I hope they can hear me over all the WooHooing.
I love me some heat days, but let's wait until we have a definite answer before we announce it to children.

Another one of my principal's many,many perks is her demand for order where order is not really necessary or possible. After she got the word that the kids could leave, we couldn't do it like a normal dismissal, no no.
We had to do it by grade level. Students had to walk in a line, NO TALKING, to their lockers, line BACK up and be escorted to the door by their teacher. 6th graders took 20 minutes, then 7th graders could go, then 8th graders. I had 8th graders at the time, so we spent about 30 minutes staring at each other just thinking, "Oh, no. We're never leaving." They finally got out of there at 1245.
Wooooooooooooooooo Heat Day!

Vocabulary

So, you know how some kids will hear a new word, and then proceed to say it all the time, whether or not it actually fits into context? If you don't know what I mean...well, the story is still funny.
Autumn's word is "feces." I have no clue where she heard it, but she has been telling me for about a week now, "I would turn in my work, but it is feces." "Ugh, Rasheed smells like feces." etc.
I don't know if anybody else had heard her telling me these things, but nobody asked what the word meant. Yesterday, there was a balled up sheet of paper on the ground by her desk. She went to sit down and this is what happened:

Autumn: Ew. I can't sit here, there is feces underneath my desk.

Everyone else in class: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FECES!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!GROSS!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
WHAT IS FECES??????!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
NO REALLY, WHAT IS FECES??????????