Dashawn: Ms. Vinson, what is your favorite instrument?
Me: Uh, I guess the guitar.
Dashawn: Oh? Bass or Air?
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Excerpts from Counseling.
So I'm a counseling intern this year on Wednesdays. I was in a session with a girl who was having issues with a boy in her class.
"I just hate that boy so much. He always be callin' me crazy and stuff."
"Why do you think he calls you crazy?"
"Cause I be tryin' to kill him."
Oh.
"I just hate that boy so much. He always be callin' me crazy and stuff."
"Why do you think he calls you crazy?"
"Cause I be tryin' to kill him."
Oh.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
In The Jungle The Mighty Jungle
We took the kids to the corn maze again. It is my absolute favorite field trip. On the bus ride there, when all the kids start screaming at the top of their lungs, you know we are passing horses or cows in fields on the side of the road.
Once we get there, they all drink their drinks really fast so they can catch bugs and put them in the empty bottles.
They all also seem to think that we are out in the wild. Throughout the entire corn maze, I had to keep telling my group that no animals were chasing us, nor were they going to jump out from the corn at us.
I saw a kid trying to climb through the corn instead of going down the path and I said, "Cheater!"
Timothy turns to Deshawn and says, "Ohmygod there are cheetahs in here."
Once we get there, they all drink their drinks really fast so they can catch bugs and put them in the empty bottles.
They all also seem to think that we are out in the wild. Throughout the entire corn maze, I had to keep telling my group that no animals were chasing us, nor were they going to jump out from the corn at us.
I saw a kid trying to climb through the corn instead of going down the path and I said, "Cheater!"
Timothy turns to Deshawn and says, "Ohmygod there are cheetahs in here."
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
New From Milton Bradley!
I think everyone who reads this is my friend on facebook so this is a repeat.
But two girls were fighting the other day. One of the boys came into my classroom later and told me that it wasn't a real fight. He said the girls are all playing a new game called "Custody." In this game they fight about imaginary children and baby daddys.
:(
But two girls were fighting the other day. One of the boys came into my classroom later and told me that it wasn't a real fight. He said the girls are all playing a new game called "Custody." In this game they fight about imaginary children and baby daddys.
:(
So Much Laughing
Yesterday, my third period class was ON FIRE with the jokes. They probably won't be as funny here, but whatever I'm still laughing.
1. We were doing a foldable booklet. At one point, Daneisha picks up her folded paper, flips it open like a phone and says, "Hello? Oh, hey. Yeah, Miss Vinson just teachin' us how to fold paper. Sure. Okay, bye."
2. Everyday, we watch CNN Student News. Jerome says, "Is it time for CNN Studaloos yet?"
3. While they were working on their booklets, it got eerily quiet. Desean looks up from his work with a panicked look. Somebody coughs and he goes, " OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT I WENT DEAF."
1. We were doing a foldable booklet. At one point, Daneisha picks up her folded paper, flips it open like a phone and says, "Hello? Oh, hey. Yeah, Miss Vinson just teachin' us how to fold paper. Sure. Okay, bye."
2. Everyday, we watch CNN Student News. Jerome says, "Is it time for CNN Studaloos yet?"
3. While they were working on their booklets, it got eerily quiet. Desean looks up from his work with a panicked look. Somebody coughs and he goes, " OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT I WENT DEAF."
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I Haven't Yelled At Students Yet This Year
Oh, but I have yelled at adults. We spoke of Captain Obvious the other day. He actually came up to me and apologized and said I was right so I'm not going to get him fired. (I did find out his salary isn't amazing or anything, so I'm mollified.) So while I'm going to continue not listening to his dumb advice and checking him when he's getting condescending, he is no longer my current archnemesis.
No, no. Her name is Smarty Pants. She works for the Turnaround Company. Her supposed job is to work with the Language Arts teachers on their curriculum. (She is the one who, at the end of last year, told me that I shouldn't make my kids read.) Anyways, today she wanted to work with the Social Studies teachers.
Imagine you are the parent of a rambunctious five year old, and some "expert" who doesn't have children makes you sit through a two hour powerpoint and role-playing session in which you are informed of the concept of "time-out." Around slide two, you want to scream at her, DO YOU THINK I AM THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE? You want to ask her, You realize I've had this child for five years, right? You are curious as to how she could possibly think you have never heard of this before. You can't believe someone gets paid actual money to tell you these things. (After her presentation, you'll get another one on why you shouldn't let your child drink 8 sodas a day.)
Anyway, she does this completely bullshit presentation, at one point outright saying that social studies teachers "resist" teaching vocabulary. You are absolutely right, Smarty Pants. I will do an entire lesson on monarchy, democracy, theocracy, etc. and if these 11 year olds don't already know those words then screw them! I don't care if you've never heard the word Mesopotamia, I'm just going to keep talking! It's not like I have to teach them or anything!
Well, anyways, I was super pissed off, so I just started ignoring her powerpoint and writing in my notebook.
THIS WOMAN comes over to me and says in her bitchy teacher voice, "Excuse me, but if you need to leave, you are welcome to."
No! Of course not! I love that you have an entire powerpoint to insult me! Please! Please give me more!
Actually I just said, "Oh, no, I am juuuuust fine." Because you know, even if she thinks it, I actually am not a child.
No, no. Her name is Smarty Pants. She works for the Turnaround Company. Her supposed job is to work with the Language Arts teachers on their curriculum. (She is the one who, at the end of last year, told me that I shouldn't make my kids read.) Anyways, today she wanted to work with the Social Studies teachers.
Imagine you are the parent of a rambunctious five year old, and some "expert" who doesn't have children makes you sit through a two hour powerpoint and role-playing session in which you are informed of the concept of "time-out." Around slide two, you want to scream at her, DO YOU THINK I AM THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE? You want to ask her, You realize I've had this child for five years, right? You are curious as to how she could possibly think you have never heard of this before. You can't believe someone gets paid actual money to tell you these things. (After her presentation, you'll get another one on why you shouldn't let your child drink 8 sodas a day.)
Anyway, she does this completely bullshit presentation, at one point outright saying that social studies teachers "resist" teaching vocabulary. You are absolutely right, Smarty Pants. I will do an entire lesson on monarchy, democracy, theocracy, etc. and if these 11 year olds don't already know those words then screw them! I don't care if you've never heard the word Mesopotamia, I'm just going to keep talking! It's not like I have to teach them or anything!
Well, anyways, I was super pissed off, so I just started ignoring her powerpoint and writing in my notebook.
THIS WOMAN comes over to me and says in her bitchy teacher voice, "Excuse me, but if you need to leave, you are welcome to."
No! Of course not! I love that you have an entire powerpoint to insult me! Please! Please give me more!
Actually I just said, "Oh, no, I am juuuuust fine." Because you know, even if she thinks it, I actually am not a child.
Duh, the Hospital Van
Last Friday we learned about 9/11 (these kids were 2 years old you guys!) and we made appreciation cards for Firefighters, EMTs and police officers in our city.
I'm walking around the room and I overhear:
Student: How do you spell amalamps?
Other Student: A-M-A-L-A-M-P-S
Me: WHAT? What are you talking about?
Both students start making siren noises and look at me like I'm a moron.
I'm walking around the room and I overhear:
Student: How do you spell amalamps?
Other Student: A-M-A-L-A-M-P-S
Me: WHAT? What are you talking about?
Both students start making siren noises and look at me like I'm a moron.
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