Miss Vinson and Damontae Go On Vacation

This kid, Damontae came into my room the other day. He thinks he's getting expelled because someone threw a book at their Language Arts teacher and the class said he did it.

I have lots of pictures of former students on the wall, and he came to tell me that I needed a picture of him before he left. So I opened up PhotoBooth on my computer and ended up laughing for like half an hour.
First,we took a regular picture:




Then, we rode a rollercoaster:



THEN, we went to the beach. Be jealous!



We stopped by a waterfall...



Finally, I THOUGHT we were going to an aquarium...

"Why are we holding our noses, does it stink here?"



"NO WE ARE UNDERWATER, DUH!!!!"

At this point, Dashawn comes in and is super upset that we went on vacation without him. So we took him to the ocean. And Damontae became a shark.

The Most Depressing Conversation I Had All Week

"Ugh, Miss Vinson, just because you say he can't read doesn't mean he automatically gets put back in special ed."

"Well, then what am I supposed to do?"

"You need to document all the ways you tried to accomodate his needs to prove that you were doing your job."

"His accomodations say: 'extended time, frequent breaks and reduced distractions.' Even if he gets all those, he still only reads 3 letter words. I don't know how to teach someone to read, and I don't know how to assess someone who can't read or write. Isn't it insulting that to you, a special educator, who has a degree in special education, that everyone just expects me to wake up one day, with no training, and know how to teach special education students?"

"Miss Vinson, I agree that he should be back in special ed, but it can't just happen all of a sudden."

"He was taken OUT of special ed 'all of a sudden.'"

"I don't have time for this."

Things That Are Stupid

Hey kids.
Sorry I've been such a horrible blogger lately. It's not because that woman in wherever got in trouble for blogging about her lazy, whiny students being "lazy whiners." I just always think of good things to blog when I'm not around the computer and then when I sit down at the computer, I end up drowning in facebook or looking up dream apartments in NYC.

Things are weird at school right now. I haven't gotten frustrated with children in almost 6 weeks. Of course, sometimes I have to raise my voice and I've threatened to TEAR OFF YOUR EARS AND STORE THEM A JAR THAT I WILL KEEP ON A SHELF AT MY HOUSE but I'm not actually having bad days.

On Friday, at 8:50a.m., the two hall monitors come into my room. (First period is over at 9:05.) They say that because yesterday some kids broke into the cafeteria and ruined all the science fair projects the whole first floor is on "lockdown" for the entire day. What does lockdown mean? Lockdown apparently means that I have to load all my shit on a cart and roll it from classroom to classroom and teach each class in their homeroom.

Obviously, it was not important to inform teachers of this BEFORE five minutes before we were supposed to do it. And also, apparently less obviously, THAT PUNISHES NO ONE BUT THE TEACHERS. So, of course, I had to spend the next 15 minutes threatening the lives of anybody who was going to decide to trash my room.

See, I'm living in a twilight zone right now where I'm not stressed about work and the kids are the best behaved I've had in years, but the whole rest of my team is having Worst Year Ever. The Math teacher cried the other day and said they make her feel like it's her first year (she's been teaching for 14 years), the new Language Arts teacher has been around for a week, she came from a high school and so far has had a textbook AND a desk thrown at her. So, I had to go into these out of control rooms and "teach" while they went into my room. It ended up being not so bad...but still. I was annoyed.

Also, the 6th grade administrator keeps telling me I need to "help my colleagues get it together." I'm sorry, what? How am I supposed to tell people who've been teaching longer than me what to do? Also, pretty sure that is YOUR JOB, MR. ADMINISTRATOR. I'm glad they are paying you six figures to walk around and look exasperated all the time.

Things That Piss Me Off, Part 2,332,768,956,567

When a kid comes back from a 5 day suspension with brand new shoes, khakis and an $80 Ralph Lauren Polo shirt.

Climate Surveys

I got yelled at by administrators. To be fair, I started it...but it was weird. It has been awhile since I've stood in the hallway yelling at an adult.

Every year, the school system asks us to complete Climate Surveys. The teachers, parents and students all fill them out. All the information gets reported to the central office. It's one of those Strongly Agree/Strongly Disagree surveys with questions like, "I feel safe at my school" and "Misbehaving students get away with it."

These things used to just get passed out and returned to the school for the school to turn in...which is clearly asking for inaccurate results. So, now, teachers can complete theirs online and parents can send theirs directly to the central office. The student one, however, still is filled out at school and returned to the main office.

Last period is from 1:30-2:35. At 2:10, a student showed up to my room with a stack of surveys and said the students had to complete them before the end of the day. Being right by the office, I walked over and told an Assistant Principal that we would have to complete ours tomorrow...as we were already in the middle of a lesson and it wouldn't really work out to stop right then.

JUST DO WHAT I SAY. MAKE THEM TAKE THE SURVEY. THEY HAVE TO BE AT CENTRAL OFFICE RIGHT NOW.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF TEACHING MY STUDENTS.

Just do it really fast.

It's a 55 question survey. That could take a 6th grader more than half an hour.

JUST DO WHAT I SAY.

NO.

OHMYGOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I JUST REALLY WISH TEACHING WAS IMPORTANT HERE.

Just What We Need

So the company that took us over has these people who randomly come in and meet with us to tell us how horrible we are. A good time is had by all.
Last week, the woman in charge of School Climate (who lives in Texas) flew in for a day to tell us this: "We're just not having enough fun here! And that's our goal, right? To have fun!" Well, besides the fact that no, that is not our goal...how would she even know anyway? And one of the many problems with this "goal" is that children and adults have waaaay different definitions of "fun." I actually think the kids are having a blast: no consequences, running around doing whatever they want, not having to do any classwork...sounds like a party to me.
Anyways, I don't even want to dedicate an entire blog post to this woman because I don't want to validate her ridiculousness. The point of this post is this:

(Also, my beautiful reader(s), this is secret information!)

Apparently New Principal (the one who showed up after Thanksgiving, keep up people!), got a FOUR PAGE MEMO from the Turnaround Director chastising her for what she is doing as a principal. Now, this memo was received before Christmas, so she had been principal (for the first time ever) for a grand total of three weeks before getting a FOUR PAGE MEMO. The secretary overheard her saying that she understands what the previous principal had been complaining about.

So, we get an email from the Fun Is The Goal Lady saying that we are going to re-teach these lessons she gave us earlier in the year about behavior. (Lesson #1: Attendance is Important!) There's like a song and a chant and some other B.S. (sidenote: how stupid does she think these kids are...reteach the EXACT SAME LESSON?) So we get the email last Wednesday saying to teach these blahblah lessons this week.

TODAY we get a memo from New Principal stating that CLASS TIME IS FOR CONTENT RELATED MATERIAL AND NOT BEHAVIORAL LESSONS.

So, to give you an update on my mood, I am SO PSYCHED that my principal and the company that is in charge of our school are going to wage a petty email/memo war instead of ACTUALLY HELPING OUR SCHOOL. Thanks so much guys, this is what they pay you the big bucks for.

Overheard

Today while working on their maps, Robert to Darrell, Jordan and Glen:

"When I grow up I'm going to have one boy and one girl. I'm going to name them Madagascar and Glory."


I kindof want to name my kid Madagascar now.

Chalkboard Watch '11

Update: I still don't have one.

This Is Me Following Directions

The social worker once told me that her first year at our school she was completely overwhelmed. She called the central office several times telling them that she needed another social worker at the school to help carry the load. She kept telling them there were simply too many children for just one social worker. They sent three people---three people to teach her how to better manage her time.
We just got ANOTHER new administrator. Now, we have a principal, a resident principal (like an intern), and 3 assistant principals. I still have 30+ kids in my classes BY THE WAY. I don't need more people telling me how to do my job, I need more people who are actually ALSO doing my job.
This is especially bothering me because it's not like these 90393438 administrators are actually helping anything. The one that's been assigned to the 6th grade...he just tells me "write it down" whenever I say anything.
"Tyquan is trying to incite a riot."....."*sigh* write it down."
After like, the 8th time of "write it down" I finally said, WHAT WHY. "Miss Vinson, anecdotal records....you need them." Right, Right. So I can take them to the meetings where no one listens to me? Or so I can...fail him?....at the end of the school year? I swear I could be like, "Daquan just killed someone!" and he would, "*sigh* write it down..." as he was walking in the other direction.
So anyway, here I am. Writing it down.

Presented Without Comment

I just got a new student named Raquan.

He asked me if I knew his brother. I do know his brother. I taught him last year. His name is Raekwon.