We Had Visitors

The day after Alabama won the National Championship, the Maryland State Department of Education came to our school to observe.

They observed me in my classroom wearing an Alabama flag as a cape and making students say roll tide before I would give them a donut.

TEACHER OF THE YEAR/DECADE/CENTURY

And The Temperature Saga Continues

Apparently a 10 year old runs our thermostat at school.

Over Winter Break, they completely turned the heat off to "save money." Welllll, it got down to like 15 degrees a few nights so the school was freezing inside. So, we come back on January 3rd to no heat because surprise, surprise it takes more than an hour or two to heat a 3 story building.

Tuesday and Wednesday you could see your breath when you were teaching in classrooms. Friday the heat finally gets to us. We spend an hour outside friday because the fire alarms went off. Why, you ask? Because it was ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX DEGREES in the auditorium. It is now Wednesday and classrooms are still reaching up to 90 something degrees.

I'm sure they money they "saved" by turning off the heat was way more than they spent heating an entire auditorium so hot it set off fire alarms.

I Yelled Again :(

I'm the 7th grade team leader. Which, in previous years just meant you were the "go-to" person for that team and you led the meetings.
This year it means, You Are In Charge of The Entire Seventh Grade And Everything That Happens With Them. It's been kindof stressful. I mean seriously more than once something like this has happened, "Excuse me, (principal, assistant principal, someone else on the administrative team), this student just (threw a book at a teacher, called me a fucking bitch, attacked another student), and here is their office referral."

"Well, that is something for The Team to take care of."

Right, right. Because I can stop teaching my lesson to go deal with such a crisis. And hey, if the teacher that got a book thrown at their just hands out some detentions, those kids will totally show up after school to her room because they clearly respect her and believe they deserve consequences.

ANYWAY. So, it's been frustrating to say the least. The other day, two teachers on our team called in sick. I spent the better part of my morning (the time when I'm supposed to be putting my lesson together--you know, a teacher's job), organizing a schedule for the 7th grade team to follow that day (since our school doesn't use substitute teachers).

So, that's part of the setting.

The other half is this: the day before a girl SPIT on her teacher MULTIPLE TIMES in the cafeteria in front of me, about 60 kids and several more adults. They told us that "it takes time to deal with" and she was in class for the rest of the day and the next.

So, Assistant Principal comes in the office in the morning where I am organizing the schedule. Another teacher asks him why The Spitter wasn't suspended and how that is complete and total bullshit.

Assistant Principal turns to us and says, "You know what. Since you guys want to have such negative attitudes, you can go get other jobs. Since you don't want to be here, we don't want you here."

Cue me:

You know what?! You're right, how dare I get SPIT ON, cursed at and disrespected by children, told I'm doing a bad job by people like you who don't seem to be doing a job at all and I have the nerve to come in here with a bad attitude. Well, I would like to take a moment, sir, and thank YOU for coming every single day and just being a RAY OF SUNSHINE."

Glad he's not my boss.

Daddy, I Want Another Pony.

We are doing one of my favorite lessons where they watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and identify all the economic concepts.
The best part is how upset everyone gets about Veruca Salt. These jokers will cuss you out in a second, call you every name in bleeping book and scream it all at the top of their lungs but HOW DARE THIS LITTLE GIRL BE SO RUDE.

In every class I paused it and said, "Yeah. Gah. I know. Who on earth would ever be disrespectful to adults? Certainly not YOU GUYS.

Please Tell Me They Mean Tall

An 8th grader got into a huge fight with a high school girl after school. I had heard this high school girl used to attend our school. I was asking around to find out who the girl was.

More than once I was told,

I don't know her name Ms. Vinson, but she was HUGE. Humongous! Like, even bigger than you!


Thanks, children.

They Watch Out For Me

Ms. Vinson NO! Don't eat that! They trickin you! DOVE IS SOAP MISS VINSON!!! Dove ain't no chocolate! Ohmygod you gon' die!

Lost In Translation

Me *sneezing*: Oh, man. I must be allergic to you. HAHA J.K.

Nerdy student: J.K.? ......John Kennedy?

Lakeyah's Public Service Announcement

HEY YO E'REBODY MS VINSON DON'T FEEL GOOD TODAY SO Y'ALL BETTA SIT YO BUTTS DOWN IN THE CHAIRS AND DON'T SAY NOTHIN! IF YOU GET ON MS VINSON NERVES I WILL BEAT YO BODY SO HARD. SO Y'ALL BEST SHUT THE FUCK UP SORRY FOR CURSING MISS VINSON. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER!

Politically Correct

So, I have to do this specialized curriculum for the month of November that focuses on Conflict Resolution. It is HILARIOUS because they are trying so hard to be multi-cultural. Sorry if I find it hard to believe that "Hamid, Josh, Miguel and Dante" formed a band. Or that "Margarita, Peter and Tyeshia" are working on a school project together.

And as always, I love listening to the kids make fun of these imaginary kids' names.

Chynnya (pronounced shah-ny-uh) thinks Fernando is a "stupid" name.

You Reading the Beginning of this Sentence is in the Past.

Me: Donte, stop playing. Donte, sit down. Donte, don't throw that.

(2 minutes later)
Me: Take out your workbooks and open to page 28.

Donte: I have a migraine, I can't do any work today.

Me: That's funny because if I had a migraine, I would be laying my head on the desk. I wouldn't be laughing and making fart jokes. If I had a migraine, I would want to go home or to the nurse, I wouldn't want to just sit in class and throw paper on the floor. If I had a migraine, I probably would have shown signs of it BEFORE my teacher told me to start working. That's what would happen if I had a migraine, but I guess you and I handle things differently.

Donte: Ms. Vinson, that whole migraine business is in the past. I think we should move on now.