Politically Correct

So, I have to do this specialized curriculum for the month of November that focuses on Conflict Resolution. It is HILARIOUS because they are trying so hard to be multi-cultural. Sorry if I find it hard to believe that "Hamid, Josh, Miguel and Dante" formed a band. Or that "Margarita, Peter and Tyeshia" are working on a school project together.

And as always, I love listening to the kids make fun of these imaginary kids' names.

Chynnya (pronounced shah-ny-uh) thinks Fernando is a "stupid" name.

You Reading the Beginning of this Sentence is in the Past.

Me: Donte, stop playing. Donte, sit down. Donte, don't throw that.

(2 minutes later)
Me: Take out your workbooks and open to page 28.

Donte: I have a migraine, I can't do any work today.

Me: That's funny because if I had a migraine, I would be laying my head on the desk. I wouldn't be laughing and making fart jokes. If I had a migraine, I would want to go home or to the nurse, I wouldn't want to just sit in class and throw paper on the floor. If I had a migraine, I probably would have shown signs of it BEFORE my teacher told me to start working. That's what would happen if I had a migraine, but I guess you and I handle things differently.

Donte: Ms. Vinson, that whole migraine business is in the past. I think we should move on now.

Everyone Gets a Trophy!

So, on Friday the Language Arts teacher and I had a long discussion with a student. He truly, honestly believes that he could go to college tomorrow and do just fine. I mean, his whole life everyone has told him how smart he is, so why not? Everyone always tells him to believe in himself. That's good, right?
It seems to me like we've reached a point where the kids feel soooo good about themselves that they don't feel the need to try or work hard because they'll get rewarded no matter what.
We are actually being told by administration to give out candy and prizes to children for DOING THEIR WORK. They give out honor roll certificates if you have an 80% average. EIGHTY!
Teachers get told all the time to have high expectations and be rigorous and blah blah blah. But society has created children with incredibly high self-esteem and no basis for it.

Anyways, the point of this post is to say that the kid I was talking to about this is going to take an AP History exam on Monday.

All By Himself

Me: Someone tell me why it's important to honor our veterans.

Student: Because they sacrificed to keep us free.

Other Student: Wait, I thought that was Martin Luther King?

My Favorite Thing

I love, love, love listening to some supposed "gangster" talk about something educational in "gangster" speak.


YO! Them gazelles be dumb. Like, fah real. E'rebody be huntin' them thangs. Tha lions get 'em. The tigers get 'em. Them hyenas be gettin' em. Miz Vinson is gazelles retarded?"

Roll Tide Roll

We named each grade after a college. Being the 7th grade team leader, I OBVIOUSLY named us the Crimson Tide. Here's our badass display for Star Students.

Favorite Song? Chopsticks.

Dashawn: Ms. Vinson, what is your favorite instrument?

Me: Uh, I guess the guitar.

Dashawn: Oh? Bass or Air?

Excerpts from Counseling.

So I'm a counseling intern this year on Wednesdays. I was in a session with a girl who was having issues with a boy in her class.

"I just hate that boy so much. He always be callin' me crazy and stuff."

"Why do you think he calls you crazy?"

"Cause I be tryin' to kill him."

Oh.

This is My Life

I don't even

Kanikqua said GlenAllen is a "ghetto" name.