Unbelievable.

1. The giant fight I broke up? With the two girls screaming and punching and pulling out hair? The one where one of the girls hit another teacher in the face? NOT SUSPENDED. No detention, no punishment. They went to "mediation" where they "worked out" their problem. They missed class for this mediation. And now everything is "fine."

2. My last period class has THIRTY TWO students. They all show up. Ten of them are special needs kids. We talked to one of our administrators, explaining that we can't assist the children with special needs since there are SO MANY OTHER KIDS in the class. She said, "Well, what is your solution? Until you come up with a solution, then I can't help you."

It's Too Early For This!!!!

Ohmygod, yesterday was bananas. A teacher on my team who has been teaching for 25 years said she has never seen anything like it.
There were just hoards and hoards of children running in the hallway all day. During 2nd period, I had to leave my students to go break up a fight down the hall. None of the teachers in that part of the hallway came out to help, but all their kids did. There had to be 40 children standing there watching this fight. And me and another teacher from MY team. We didn't even know those kids! They were ripping out hair and screaming and clawing. I was exhausted when it was finally over. (Oh, and neither girl was suspended. They just had to go to "mediation" and talk it out.)
The kids aren't listening to us at all. Two solid, strong teachers on my team said they feel incompetent now. Every single thing they say to anybody turns into some screaming tantrum. "Go sit down, please."..."I AIN'T SITTING DOWN. GET OUT MY FACE. FUCK THIS SHIT." I haven't quite got to that part, but i feel like I'm talking to myself most of the time. Nobody is learning anything.
I spent my ENTIRE planning period yesterday standing outside my doorway "shooing" children away from my section of the hallway.
These are behaviors we saw in April and May of last year, not freaking September. The kids know they run this place. I was wrong when I said nothing had changed...now, there's not a single person they will listen to.

Dear Middle School, Everything Is Not Gay.

"You have homework." "That's gay."
"Hello." "You're gay."

I don't know what it is about being 12 that makes everything gay, but it drives me crazy. The other day, I kindof snapped.
We were talking about ways to calm down when you're angry. Anthony says that he cleans when he is angry.

Rashon: "That's gay! You're gay!"

Me: "Oh, so only gay people be clean? Straight people are dirty?"

Rashon: "I'm not dirty!"

Me: "Well, then according to your logic, you're gay."

Rashon: "I'm not gay!"

Me: "So, you made a ridiculous statement."

Rashon: "Miss Vinson, only women clean when they are angry, so he must be gay."

Me: "I'm a woman who DOESN'T clean when I'm angry....what am I? Is there something wrong with me?"

Rashon: "No...but....it's just that...I made a ridiculous statement."

Parent Quote of the Year

"I used to think that all these bad kids were scared of their parents, and if their parents only knew about their behavior, it would stop. I just met some other parents and I realized they are worse than the kids are!"

This Man Is Crazy

Today, with half an hour left in the school day, we hear this announcement: "Teachers and students. This is an early announcement. Whoever is interested in playing on the school basketball team, please come downstairs RIGHT NOW. Thank you."

WHAT. Of course, the entire school wants to go. I made my kids (15 out of my 30 kids wanted to go) and I walked them in a line down the stairs into chaos. I just walked away. Is he serious?! It can't be an after-school meeting? You know, to make sure they are serious and not just trying to skip class.

I mean, i hate to point out the obvious...but damn.

I Have A New Student

His name is Jihad.

Times When It's Okay To Kill Someone

So, seriously, I don't give a shit about grades and tests and making our goals about standardized scores or whatever. I really just wish I could go in everyday, say something controversial and have my kids talk about it.

Today we read a news article about 3 teenage boys who broke into a man's house during the middle of the day. When they realized he was there, they tried to go back out the window. He fired one shot, hitting one of the boys in the back and killing him.

"Did he have the right to shoot him?" and "Should he go to jail?' were something we discussed for about 45 minutes and it was AWESOME.

Anyways, in case you were wondering, this is what the 6th graders decided:

1. You can kill someone if you have a "good" reason. (They couldn't decide who determines whether or not the reason is good. Also, according to them, Ty'Quan not having his homework is not a "good" reason.)

2. You can kill someone if they hit you in your face for no reason.

3. You can kill someone as long as you have witnesses to back up your reasons.

4. You can kill someone if they come to your house and you don't want them to.

5. None of this applies if the person you are planning on killing is a friend or relative of any of my students.

Today Was Better

I guess you get a little perspective when the teacher down the hall ends the day having to be talked out of quitting or the one downstairs spends most of the time crying.

Also, I've never worked for reasonable people before, and it's amazing how far a simple, "I understand your frustration" can go. The school's a mess, nothing has changed, but a big thank you to the people who listen when I voice my concerns and actually make a concerted effort to make things better.

Turns out I'm not crazy after all!

I Kind of Want To Punch Somebody In The Face

Yesterday in our staff meeting after school from the guy who is our "Turnaround Director": "Never, ever yell at these kids. They've already been yelled at. If yelling worked, we wouldn't have to be here turning this school around."

WELL, as my friend Jen (shoutout!) so eloquently put it, "If idiot solutions worked, they also wouldn't be there."

REALLY?! REALLY?! You think you get paid the big bucks to come tell me some moronic thing like, "don't yell" and everything's going to be fixed??

Today was a pretty bad day. Nothing even really happened, my kids are just ALREADY ANNOYING. It's the second damn day of school! When I step out into the hallway or go onto other floors, it looks EXACTLY THE SAME as it has every other year. Kids running the hallway, no consequences.

So, apparently when we went to that summer training, they just wanted to tell us all these things we COULD implement....not that they would help us implement such things. "You could do a Friday Breakfast Club, guys! You could bring in donuts and juice for your students that did well that week!"
Thank you for that genius advice. I would never think of something so smart and wonderful and life-changing all on my own, because I have the brain capacity of a bird. I basically just wandered in off the street to hang out with these short people that I just recently found out are actually not small adults, but something called "children." Whatever would I do without you, my saving grace, my one lifeline to dealing with these people. I am so glad you all get paid so much money to tell me how to interact with kids you don't interact with yourself. Why don't you wander on over to the hospital and give the surgeons tips on a more effective and efficient way to do a heart surgery? And on the way there, why don't you stop by the construction workers and critique their way of laying pavement?.....No?...just me?...I'm the lucky one? Yay, again, I really appreciate your pearls of wisdom.

He's Ready

We had 6th grade orientation on Thursday. After it was over I was standing the hallway talking to an incoming student.

"Hi, What's your name?"

"Corey."

"It's nice to meet you, Corey."

"Do y'all have a hall monitor up at this school?"

"Yes."

"...Is she fast?"