I do not repeat myself.

So, kids right?
If its one thing I've learned from teaching, it's that kids will mimic your every move. The reason they tell you to get the fuck out their face? Yeah,they heard it from mom/dad/grandma/neighbor, whoever. Half the time, they don't even know what they're saying, they just know it sounds badass.
Because of this, I rarely get mad about some kid shouting overheard phrases. I think it's kind of funny. Like a screwed up version of playing house.
Today, 4th period.
Me: Chelsea, so you'll stop talking, you need to move to a different seat.
Chelsea: I DONT WANT TO!!
Me: *blank stare"
Chelsea stands up, but instead of moving to the appointed seat, stands in the corner.
Me: If you can't sit down in my room, I guess you can't sit down on the bus to the field trip Wednesday.
Chelsea: I DON'T CARE!
Me: oh, that's good then.
Chelsea: *mumble, mumble*
Me: what?
Chelsea: I already said it! I don't repeat myself!
Me: *rolls eyes* that's nice. I do. You're not going on the field trip.
Chelsea: *mumble, mumble*
Me: what?
Chelsea: I already said it! I don't repeat myself!
Me: what?
Chelsea: I said I don't repeat myself!
Me: Oh, right.

and the reason I love my 7th graders is that they all got it and died laughing.

Wow, Why Doesn't Everyone Work Here?

All the copy machines have been broken for THREE WEEKS now. Well, the one in the front office works, but as we were told over the intercom in the middle of the day, "Teachers, you think you are so smart and you go and break the copy machines. You can't use the one in the office because you need to suffer the consequences of your actions."

This goes hand in hand with her other mid-day intercom tirade about how teachers should support each other and the administration and how dare teachers not be supportive, etc., etc. The irony, of course, would be that the most supportive thing she could do would be to not cut us off at the knees in front of kids?

Pssh, Amateurs

Somebody broke into the school over the weekend and stole money from the vending machines in the teacher's lounge. While talking to the kids about it, I heard this enlightening comment:

"Why'd they go to all that trouble? All you gotta do is pour salt water into the coin acceptor. It fries the circuits and the money falls out."

Well, I guess that proves your innocence?

This Looks Familiar

Well, the internet has been down at home, so sorry for not posting. Because, damn. These people make me question my sanity on an hourly basis.

1. A woman was shot to death about 10 ft. away from our front door. IT WAS NEVER EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED by our illustrious administration. We’ve even had a faculty meeting since it happened. Not a word.
2. I was told the day before Christmas break, “Your 8th grade class will go to science instead of your class starting January 5th.” (I’m really getting tired of this little song and dance, btw.) I came in on January 5th, “Oh, no, we’re not ready. You’ll keep the 8th graders today.” Awesome. Then, Tuesday and Wednesday, they all went to science. From now until January 23rd, only 21 of the 34 will go to science, and then they all will (including my 6th and 7th graders). What the hell kind of sense does that make??!
3. What will I be teaching after January 23rd? Everyone is mystified.
4. When they told me about this 21/34 nonsense, (oh, and that was only because I searched them out and asked myself, they didn’t actually feel as though it was necessary for me to know) I decided to make the ones will have for the next two weeks write research papers about one aspect of the Government high school curriculum (the one they have to get tested on and pass to graduate), things like Brown v. Board, the United Nations, etc. I was told that was too boring and I needed to jazz it up a little. I was told, not asked or persuaded, that I was going to have these kids, FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, write a jingle about the presidential inauguration, “because that sounds way more fun than a research paper.” Oh, my bad. I’m so stupid.
5. Then I was asked, so what are you doing with your 6th and 7th graders until the end of the semester? (January 23rd) I told her (now, Ms. Sperry…my favorite) that I was doing ancient Greece with the 6th graders and starting government with the 7th graders. (Following the curriculum, apparently I am the only one who remembers that whole hoopla at the beginning of the year.) She tells me, this woman who was obsessed with me following my curriculum to the letter, with no embellishment or originality. “Well, I think you need to focus on them learning the states and countries because I was in the computer lab one day listening to them, and it was horrifying. They don’t know anything. Teach them that.” (Sorry for this but…) FUCK YOU.
It’s really just whatever way the wind blows that day, isn’t it? It’s about saying what is most ridiculous at the time, whether is goes with your previous statements or not. I was busting my butt to teach them states and countries and got chewed out on a daily basis.
6. My classroom is roughly the size of your computer screen. My principal is demanding that all classrooms include a “technology center” of 3-4 computers. That would be awesome. Oh wait! I have 34 students, 33 desks and no tables! Alas, where shall these alleged computers go? The technology jerkwad came into my room and told me I have to completely rearrange my entire room to accommodate these computers….from 2001. Eight year old computers. Sah-weet. Maybe we can play Oregon Trail.

Twas the Day Before Christmas Eve, and All Through The School...

So, what is the point of having school on December 23? NOBODY wants to be there. Anything you teach will just have to be re-taught (either they aren't paying attention or they'll just forget over the next 12 days.) Several kids are missing anyway.
It was pretty ridiculous.
However, let me just reiterate--I freaking LOVE these children.
You take the biggest gangsters with the filthiest mouths, give them some crayons and a coloring book and they are all over it. During my planning period, I went upstairs to another class (8th graders that I used to teach), and started coloring. I colored a picture, wrote "Merry Christmas! From: Ms. Vinson" on it and gave it to a 14 year old boy. He hung it up in his locker! How cute is that?!

Also, some stupid crap is in the process of happening, but I'll get to that later.
Merry Christmas!

Pretty Much The Best Day Ever

So, today we took 33 8th graders to Outward Bound. They were in 5 separate groups. Each group did either a rock climbing activity or a ropes course, and several strategy/team-building activities. I looooooooove Outward Bound. It is perfect, perfect, perfect for my kids. We went 3 years ago and it was fantastic.

But today, in each group of about 6-7 students was also 5-6 city police officers. They spent the whole day together encouraging each other and working through problems. The kids were fantastic and as Devin said, "Them cops was cool, yo."

<--The boy in the blue could talk, but he couldn't see. Everyone else couldn't talk, but they could see. They were trying to tell a cop, who was blindfolded, behind the boy in the blue how to get to the prize.

William and the police officer are harnessed together.

Run to the middle and high-five if you're a

Steelers fan?

Tatianna climbing the tree and onto the wire.

I believe his exact words were, "No, no, no. Get me down. No, no, no. I hate you." And then after it was over, "That was fun, can I go again?"

What the-- How the-- Who would--- Why??

Today.

A teacher.
found CRAYFISH.
in a girl's.
PENCIL CASE.
She said it was from Sunday night's dinner.

That's What I Get For Trying To Look Nice

Terrell is the funniest person I have ever met. Seriously, he is going to be famous someday.

Yesterday I wore black dress pants, dress shoes, and a maroon shirt with frilly things on it.

"Ms. Vinson"

"Yeah?"

"Are you about to go dance with the stars?"

Maurice In Charge

Maurice is one of my 6th graders. He's really small and pretty much a super genius. He's also a little bit nuts. He annoys the crap out of all the girls and he finds everyone annoying.

Today was Charles' first day. He's really annoying. I saw Maurice in the office after lunch.

Me: Maurice, what are you doing in here?
Maurice: Me and Charles was fightin'. He's comin' in here all gettin' on everybody's nerves and botherin' the girls. He can't be all doin' that on the first day! He needed to know I get on they nerves! not him! he ugly anyway.

Roll Tide?

So my first year teaching, this kid named Chris was kindof my archnemesis. He was one of the first kids to call me names and tell me hated me. Ahh, good times.

He's something like 17 now and in the 11th grade. I taught him as a 7th grader and I haven't seen him since.
However, he sends one of my students (Jermaine) with a message to me every single Monday about the weekend's Alabama football game.
"Miss Vinson, Chris said to tell you that Alabama is going to lose this weekend and you should forget about that national championship."
"Miss Vinson, Chris said to tell you that your quarterback is stupid and slow."

Glad I made an impression. :)