I Yelled Again :(

I'm the 7th grade team leader. Which, in previous years just meant you were the "go-to" person for that team and you led the meetings.
This year it means, You Are In Charge of The Entire Seventh Grade And Everything That Happens With Them. It's been kindof stressful. I mean seriously more than once something like this has happened, "Excuse me, (principal, assistant principal, someone else on the administrative team), this student just (threw a book at a teacher, called me a fucking bitch, attacked another student), and here is their office referral."

"Well, that is something for The Team to take care of."

Right, right. Because I can stop teaching my lesson to go deal with such a crisis. And hey, if the teacher that got a book thrown at their just hands out some detentions, those kids will totally show up after school to her room because they clearly respect her and believe they deserve consequences.

ANYWAY. So, it's been frustrating to say the least. The other day, two teachers on our team called in sick. I spent the better part of my morning (the time when I'm supposed to be putting my lesson together--you know, a teacher's job), organizing a schedule for the 7th grade team to follow that day (since our school doesn't use substitute teachers).

So, that's part of the setting.

The other half is this: the day before a girl SPIT on her teacher MULTIPLE TIMES in the cafeteria in front of me, about 60 kids and several more adults. They told us that "it takes time to deal with" and she was in class for the rest of the day and the next.

So, Assistant Principal comes in the office in the morning where I am organizing the schedule. Another teacher asks him why The Spitter wasn't suspended and how that is complete and total bullshit.

Assistant Principal turns to us and says, "You know what. Since you guys want to have such negative attitudes, you can go get other jobs. Since you don't want to be here, we don't want you here."

Cue me:

You know what?! You're right, how dare I get SPIT ON, cursed at and disrespected by children, told I'm doing a bad job by people like you who don't seem to be doing a job at all and I have the nerve to come in here with a bad attitude. Well, I would like to take a moment, sir, and thank YOU for coming every single day and just being a RAY OF SUNSHINE."

Glad he's not my boss.

Daddy, I Want Another Pony.

We are doing one of my favorite lessons where they watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and identify all the economic concepts.
The best part is how upset everyone gets about Veruca Salt. These jokers will cuss you out in a second, call you every name in bleeping book and scream it all at the top of their lungs but HOW DARE THIS LITTLE GIRL BE SO RUDE.

In every class I paused it and said, "Yeah. Gah. I know. Who on earth would ever be disrespectful to adults? Certainly not YOU GUYS.

Please Tell Me They Mean Tall

An 8th grader got into a huge fight with a high school girl after school. I had heard this high school girl used to attend our school. I was asking around to find out who the girl was.

More than once I was told,

I don't know her name Ms. Vinson, but she was HUGE. Humongous! Like, even bigger than you!


Thanks, children.

They Watch Out For Me

Ms. Vinson NO! Don't eat that! They trickin you! DOVE IS SOAP MISS VINSON!!! Dove ain't no chocolate! Ohmygod you gon' die!

Lost In Translation

Me *sneezing*: Oh, man. I must be allergic to you. HAHA J.K.

Nerdy student: J.K.? ......John Kennedy?

Lakeyah's Public Service Announcement

HEY YO E'REBODY MS VINSON DON'T FEEL GOOD TODAY SO Y'ALL BETTA SIT YO BUTTS DOWN IN THE CHAIRS AND DON'T SAY NOTHIN! IF YOU GET ON MS VINSON NERVES I WILL BEAT YO BODY SO HARD. SO Y'ALL BEST SHUT THE FUCK UP SORRY FOR CURSING MISS VINSON. I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER!

Politically Correct

So, I have to do this specialized curriculum for the month of November that focuses on Conflict Resolution. It is HILARIOUS because they are trying so hard to be multi-cultural. Sorry if I find it hard to believe that "Hamid, Josh, Miguel and Dante" formed a band. Or that "Margarita, Peter and Tyeshia" are working on a school project together.

And as always, I love listening to the kids make fun of these imaginary kids' names.

Chynnya (pronounced shah-ny-uh) thinks Fernando is a "stupid" name.

You Reading the Beginning of this Sentence is in the Past.

Me: Donte, stop playing. Donte, sit down. Donte, don't throw that.

(2 minutes later)
Me: Take out your workbooks and open to page 28.

Donte: I have a migraine, I can't do any work today.

Me: That's funny because if I had a migraine, I would be laying my head on the desk. I wouldn't be laughing and making fart jokes. If I had a migraine, I would want to go home or to the nurse, I wouldn't want to just sit in class and throw paper on the floor. If I had a migraine, I probably would have shown signs of it BEFORE my teacher told me to start working. That's what would happen if I had a migraine, but I guess you and I handle things differently.

Donte: Ms. Vinson, that whole migraine business is in the past. I think we should move on now.

Everyone Gets a Trophy!

So, on Friday the Language Arts teacher and I had a long discussion with a student. He truly, honestly believes that he could go to college tomorrow and do just fine. I mean, his whole life everyone has told him how smart he is, so why not? Everyone always tells him to believe in himself. That's good, right?
It seems to me like we've reached a point where the kids feel soooo good about themselves that they don't feel the need to try or work hard because they'll get rewarded no matter what.
We are actually being told by administration to give out candy and prizes to children for DOING THEIR WORK. They give out honor roll certificates if you have an 80% average. EIGHTY!
Teachers get told all the time to have high expectations and be rigorous and blah blah blah. But society has created children with incredibly high self-esteem and no basis for it.

Anyways, the point of this post is to say that the kid I was talking to about this is going to take an AP History exam on Monday.

All By Himself

Me: Someone tell me why it's important to honor our veterans.

Student: Because they sacrificed to keep us free.

Other Student: Wait, I thought that was Martin Luther King?

My Favorite Thing

I love, love, love listening to some supposed "gangster" talk about something educational in "gangster" speak.


YO! Them gazelles be dumb. Like, fah real. E'rebody be huntin' them thangs. Tha lions get 'em. The tigers get 'em. Them hyenas be gettin' em. Miz Vinson is gazelles retarded?"

Roll Tide Roll

We named each grade after a college. Being the 7th grade team leader, I OBVIOUSLY named us the Crimson Tide. Here's our badass display for Star Students.

Favorite Song? Chopsticks.

Dashawn: Ms. Vinson, what is your favorite instrument?

Me: Uh, I guess the guitar.

Dashawn: Oh? Bass or Air?

Excerpts from Counseling.

So I'm a counseling intern this year on Wednesdays. I was in a session with a girl who was having issues with a boy in her class.

"I just hate that boy so much. He always be callin' me crazy and stuff."

"Why do you think he calls you crazy?"

"Cause I be tryin' to kill him."

Oh.

This is My Life

I don't even

Kanikqua said GlenAllen is a "ghetto" name.

Rule #4335 of Good Teaching: Never Use Humiliation As a Discipline Tool

In The Jungle The Mighty Jungle

We took the kids to the corn maze again. It is my absolute favorite field trip. On the bus ride there, when all the kids start screaming at the top of their lungs, you know we are passing horses or cows in fields on the side of the road.
Once we get there, they all drink their drinks really fast so they can catch bugs and put them in the empty bottles.

They all also seem to think that we are out in the wild. Throughout the entire corn maze, I had to keep telling my group that no animals were chasing us, nor were they going to jump out from the corn at us.

I saw a kid trying to climb through the corn instead of going down the path and I said, "Cheater!"

Timothy turns to Deshawn and says, "Ohmygod there are cheetahs in here."

New From Milton Bradley!

I think everyone who reads this is my friend on facebook so this is a repeat.

But two girls were fighting the other day. One of the boys came into my classroom later and told me that it wasn't a real fight. He said the girls are all playing a new game called "Custody." In this game they fight about imaginary children and baby daddys.


:(

So Much Laughing

Yesterday, my third period class was ON FIRE with the jokes. They probably won't be as funny here, but whatever I'm still laughing.

1. We were doing a foldable booklet. At one point, Daneisha picks up her folded paper, flips it open like a phone and says, "Hello? Oh, hey. Yeah, Miss Vinson just teachin' us how to fold paper. Sure. Okay, bye."

2. Everyday, we watch CNN Student News. Jerome says, "Is it time for CNN Studaloos yet?"

3. While they were working on their booklets, it got eerily quiet. Desean looks up from his work with a panicked look. Somebody coughs and he goes, " OH THANK GOD I THOUGHT I WENT DEAF."

I Haven't Yelled At Students Yet This Year

Oh, but I have yelled at adults. We spoke of Captain Obvious the other day. He actually came up to me and apologized and said I was right so I'm not going to get him fired. (I did find out his salary isn't amazing or anything, so I'm mollified.) So while I'm going to continue not listening to his dumb advice and checking him when he's getting condescending, he is no longer my current archnemesis.

No, no. Her name is Smarty Pants. She works for the Turnaround Company. Her supposed job is to work with the Language Arts teachers on their curriculum. (She is the one who, at the end of last year, told me that I shouldn't make my kids read.) Anyways, today she wanted to work with the Social Studies teachers.

Imagine you are the parent of a rambunctious five year old, and some "expert" who doesn't have children makes you sit through a two hour powerpoint and role-playing session in which you are informed of the concept of "time-out." Around slide two, you want to scream at her, DO YOU THINK I AM THE DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE? You want to ask her, You realize I've had this child for five years, right? You are curious as to how she could possibly think you have never heard of this before. You can't believe someone gets paid actual money to tell you these things. (After her presentation, you'll get another one on why you shouldn't let your child drink 8 sodas a day.)

Anyway, she does this completely bullshit presentation, at one point outright saying that social studies teachers "resist" teaching vocabulary. You are absolutely right, Smarty Pants. I will do an entire lesson on monarchy, democracy, theocracy, etc. and if these 11 year olds don't already know those words then screw them! I don't care if you've never heard the word Mesopotamia, I'm just going to keep talking! It's not like I have to teach them or anything!

Well, anyways, I was super pissed off, so I just started ignoring her powerpoint and writing in my notebook.

THIS WOMAN comes over to me and says in her bitchy teacher voice, "Excuse me, but if you need to leave, you are welcome to."

No! Of course not! I love that you have an entire powerpoint to insult me! Please! Please give me more!

Actually I just said, "Oh, no, I am juuuuust fine." Because you know, even if she thinks it, I actually am not a child.

Duh, the Hospital Van

Last Friday we learned about 9/11 (these kids were 2 years old you guys!) and we made appreciation cards for Firefighters, EMTs and police officers in our city.

I'm walking around the room and I overhear:

Student: How do you spell amalamps?
Other Student: A-M-A-L-A-M-P-S
Me: WHAT? What are you talking about?

Both students start making siren noises and look at me like I'm a moron.

Captain Obvious and Nepotism

I'm the Team Leader for the 7th grade team. We have a 2nd year Language Arts teacher (Ms. K) who is a very nice person and a very hard worker. Sometimes in this school, niceness is seen as weakness by the children. So, coupled with her inexperience and being incredibly nice, sometimes the children give her problems.

We have a new guy at our school and his job title is Intervention Specialist. There was no interview process for this position because I would have applied. He is very condescending to Ms. K and does nothing to intervene when things are going wrong in her classroom. His job also appears to be walking around and telling everyone else what THEIR job is.

We have had 5 full days of school. After the 4th day, Mr. Specialist told Ms. K that "y'all won't be having any more problems out of Raquan. I've talked to him." Oh, thanks Mr. Specialist. I taught Raquan all of last year and have had hundreds of "talks" with him, but I'm glad you are here to save the day. (Unsurprisingly, Raquan was misbehaving less than an hour after Mr. Specialist's little talk.)

On Friday, Ms. K came into my room during lunch on the verge of tears. Her 2nd period had been very disruptive. At one point, two boys were chasing each other around the classroom and knocked over her entire bookshelf. RAQUAN was throwing pencils at her.

Mr. Specialist comes into my room as Ms. K is recounting the story for me. THIS GUY has the nerve to look at me and go, "Well, these kids don't give YOU any problems DO they, Miss Vinson?"

"Um, what does that have to do with anything?"

He realized I was a little hostile. So, he turns to Ms. K and asks her IF SHE HAS EVER CONSIDERED DETENTION.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, GUY?! They pay you to come suggest to us that we should give detention?!

So, I pretty much let him have it. I wish I could have recorded it or something because it was brilliant. But the gist was something about how as a teacher, Ms. K shouldn't even have to be worried about the punishment for a child who is THROWING THINGS AT HER. In my opinion, that jumps right into the hands of the administration, or at the very least, THE INTERVENTION SPECIALIST. Am I wrong?
When they don't show up for detention (they never do), then what happens? Call the parent? What about when none of the phone numbers we have work? What then? And while we're going through all these steps, he's still THROWING THINGS AT HIS TEACHER. She shouldn't have to deal with that. At all.

He then proceeded to tell me that whatever happened was "up to the team." WHAT? The "team" is the 4 teachers that this student has. We are all teaching while this is going on. Should I stop teaching my class to walk down the hall and deal with this?

So, after this lunch fight, I was incredibly heated. Ms. K said she wondered what Mr. Specialist's background was in. I was curious so I looked him up on Facebook.

1. He has an Associate's Degree in Art from a community college.
2. His previous job was at a Wine Shop for about 7 years.
3. There are pictures of his baby daughter with our Turnaround Director.
4. He has the same last name as the girlfriend of our Turnaround Director.

Now, I'm no detective, but I'm calling BULLSHIT on this one. Tomorrow, I'm going to see if someone can sneak me this guy's salary information. If he is making any more than what a hall monitor is making, I'm going to start some serious shit.

"Man, Shakey be lyin' yo. His mother didn't beat up no bear!"
-Darrell

Oh, Except This Guy.

This year I'm doing my counseling internship on Wednesdays. The lady I'd always wanted to intern with retired last year. So I'm stuck with a guy who has been a counselor for many, many years but has only been at my school for about a semester. He wants to be all experty on things I already know.

Anyways, the other day at our meeting we were both discussing how we'd been without power for 4 days because of Hurricane Irene. He then, in all seriousness, begins to warn me about December 21, 2012.

"Well, Vinson. It's good that you're learning how to survive. After 2012, things are going to be different in this world. They way we live now, it won't be like that anymore."

"Um, sure."

"I'm serious. This is good practice for you to get used to living in a different way. It's going to happen."


Only 599 hours of internship left!

Nothing Interesting

So we started 2 days late because of Hurricane Irene. I've had two days of school and they've been fine.

A WHOLE BUNCH of kids have transferred, so all of my classes are at about 15 kids. Which is pretty great.

Things are good.

Don't worry. It won't last long.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

So the last like, 20 minutes of Professional Development before we break for the weekend and the last moments we are going to see each other before the kids come, our principal has us to the Pig Personality Test.
I don't know if you've heard of it, but I've done it about 20439439209 times. You draw a pig and then they tell you all these things about what that means about your life.
If you drew your pig at the top of the page that means you are positive and optimistic. If you drew it in the middle, you are a realist.

Now, I didn't see other people's drawings, but I've decided I'm probably one of the few people who drew my pig in the middle.

Let's get real here.
We spent the entire week before school starts playing games (I'm Hilarious Heather and you are Athletic Al!), debating the semantics of writing school mission statements (Should it say we FOSTER learning or ENCOURAGE learning?) and seen presentations on very obvious things (if a student misses a lot of school, they are in danger of dropping out.)

You know what we haven't done? Made decisions. Do we have locker assignments for any of the students? No. Do we know if there is a special schedule (extended homeroom) for the first day? No. Do we know what floor our students eat lunch on? No. Do we know what steps to take when someone doesn't follow all the rules we made up? No.

It might not seem like much, but those are the little things that add up to big things.
The problem is not that the staff is retarded. We aren't burnt out morons who just need a little pep to fix everything. Things aren't bad because we don't get along with each other. Things are bad because the CHILDREN DO NOT HAVE ANY CONSEQUENCES. Things are bad because there is MASS CONFUSION. Things are bad because we start each school year like we're opening for the first time and we're the first school to ever open.
"The kids just run wild in the hallway."

"Well, have you told them to stop?"

WELL I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!

Super.

Got my IEPs for the Special Ed students yesterday. I only have one new student so I'm reading through to find her learning accomodations.

"severe emotional/behavior issues" ...."reports feeling depressed and angry the majority of the time"..."is hostile toward other students"...


What are the students strengths?

"Attendance."

My Classroom is So Pretty You Guys!

Your Highness

So, new principal has her doctorate. And as most of those people are, she is very proud of it. So we have to address her as Doctor Blahblah.
The other day she went on some long-winded blah blah about how we are all important and so she is ordering us nameplates for our door. (It's nice, I get it. I thought we were broke? whatever.) She wants us to put our first and last name and how we want to be addressed, as well as the colleges we attended and our majors.

Hmm... How I want to be addressed....

I'm waffling between "Colonel Vinson" and "President Vinson."

And I want my room to be referred to as HMR 118. (Her Majesty's Room 118)

More on Research vs. Experience

Last year, the school day went from 7:45-2:35. It had been that way for four years.

The Operators read some research that says that adolescents learn more later on in the day. They also saw many of our children coming to school around 9 or 9:30. Without consulting us (not that they have to, but maybe they should), they changed the school day to 9-4.
Here's something they didn't research: Our first year, those were the school hours.

And here's what happened that first year:
-4pm is the same time the elementary school that is attached us let's out, and our kids would try to bully the younger kids and get into fights with the 5th graders.
-The high school down the road is let out around 3:15 or 3:30, and by 4pm, they are walking through our parking lot and down our street. The kids who aren't busy bullying and fighting the elementary kids are busy being bullied or fighting the high school kids.
-It gets dark incredibly early in the winter (duh.) Our neighborhood is INCREDIBLY unsafe. Many of our students walk home, but just walking to the bus stop is still dangerous. So, you can't have any after-school activities or hold any type of detention for fear that the children will leave too late and be MURDERED.
-The kids who come to school late? The vast majority of them aren't doing it because they have too much to do in the morning or because they just cannot get up at 7am, it's because they don't want to be on time for school! Now they'll come at 10:30 or 11.

A lot of the staff is super pissed. I get to sleep later in the morning, so I'm not that bent out of shape. It's just another thing in the long list of ways they don't believe we have anything significant to contribute to their precious research.

The Culture of Low Expectations

For the first time in my career as a teacher, I was informed of my new classroom #, the grade I was teaching and my classes BEFORE the day before school started. In fact, the lady who was our principal for a grand total of one month was so organized, she had it together before the end of the 2010-2011 school year.
I was told I'm teaching 7th grade. I'm ambivalent about that. It's the same kids which is good, but 7th graders are the devil and the curriculum is all wonky. Basically they want you to teach everything, ever. They aren't really into "history" so much as social studies concepts and skills. It's all over the place.
I've taught this grade before and I wanted a little more structure.So, I decided that I wanted to take 4 short fiction novels about children in different countries. (If you are dying to know: The Breadwinner-Afghanistan, Before We Were Free-Dominican Republic, Long Walk to Water-Sudan, and The Year of Impossible Goodbyes-Korea.) Basically, I would take these books as a supplement and study each country's culture, government etc.
I go to speak to the Director of Literacy about my idea. (She works for our Operator, the people who took over.) She informed me (and I have a witness) that, "Miss Vinson, we learned from last year that these kids don't really LIKE reading, so I don't think it's fair to have TWO classes, in addition to Language Arts, in which their grade is based on reading." Wellllllllllllllll.
I was in shock, so I had a hard time finding my argument. But I started by telling her that we wouldn't read the book like they do in Language Arts (no similes or metaphors, just culture) and that it would just be a supplement to the curriculum. She continued to insist that it was a bad idea. She eventually relented by saying that I could do the first book, but we would wait on the rest.

Things I wish I had said:
1. WHAT DO YOU THINK WE DO NOW? Look at pictures all day? No! We READ!
2. Because they don't WANT to??!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?
3. THIS. IS. SCHOOL.

The other teacher that heard this little exchange had some more input. She had been a first year Language Arts teacher. She said that it was pretty insulting of this lady to assume that kids didn't want to read EVER because of the mess that was her classroom.

These are the people that are supposed to be making us BETTER.

Philosophical Differences

Towards the end of last year, we had a little Professional Development in which I was not bored (the usual PD feeling) but instead pretty peeved.
These people that took over our school, their whole outlook is based on research, not experience. In fact, faced with a boatload of experience that contradicts their research, they will still cling to the research like it's the last canteen of water in the desert.

This PD was led by the same woman who informed me that the reason I was at school was "to have fun." It was entitled "Relational Discipline." I should have been exempt from this little demonstration from the get-go. If I can do anything, it's get along with adolescents. But anyways, there I sat, ready to learn nothing and play games on my phone.

The meat of their presentation dealt with the fact that they believed there was too much yelling in the school. And research shows that yelling doesn't work. And based on the assumptions that they as people isolated from our children made, they declared that we, as teachers, were getting too emotional with the children and were thus yelling because we had reached some sort of boiling point and we had lost control.

I will now give the exact quote that made me slowly put down my Blackberry in order to raise my hand and rant at everyone. "Don't get angry if one of the kids calls you a fucking bitch. They are just trying to test you. Remain calm and disregard it." They continued to insist that the reason we are yelling is because our feelings get hurt by our students.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. WRONG.

1. You know what? Sometimes I am a fucking bitch. It just goes along with being an adult that is dealing with children. You aren't always going to like what I say or do. I do not care.
2. Who cares what an 11 year old thinks?

I am yelling/angry/reprimanding this child because you don't use that kind of language in my classroom. End of story. I don't care if those are the only words you know--then you have to stay quiet.

I get what they are saying to some extent. But if Omar slaps Nia, I am going to yell at him. If Corey tries to stab Shae with a pencil, I am going to say something. There is extreme behavior pretty much every day, and this fucking bitch will let you know that it's not acceptable.

And you know what comes from that? Kids I don't even teach in the hallway apologizing to me for using profanity when they hadn't known I was there. Limited profanity in my classroom, and almost always apologies afterward.

The funniest part is that they constantly put me and another teacher up as the perfect model of what a teacher should be, and he and I both yell on a daily basis. Or at least use threats and intimidation. :)

Errrr

So, a student I taught 4 years ago just got life in prison for murdering a 72 year old guy.

I only taught him for about a month (he was in and out of jail even then)...but still.

Best Compliment Ever.

"Ms. Vinson, if you was in a fight with Ms. Berry, you would definitely win. She might be stronger than you, but you are crazier and crazy wins every time."

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

There are 7 teachers out on administrative leave for "hitting" students. (Hitting is in quotes because almost every case is questionable.)

There are 16 students who have been put on 45 day suspensions for attacking teachers. (You'll notice, attacking is NOT in quotes.)

Also, if they are a special education student and they attack a teacher, it can be deemed a manifestation of their disability and they cannot be put on a 45 day suspension. So, 16 is most likely NOT the actual number of assaults.

Don't worry about me though, you guys. All the kids are scared of me. :)

What I Know Vs. What They Say

Last week something really sketchy went down at my school. The whole event played out one way, and then the news coverage of it was completely different.

What I Know:
-During 2nd period, various people came on the intercom to, at first, tell us to not give out any passes. Eventually, they said to close and lock all doors. Instead of the usual, "Any students found in the hallway during this time will be suspended," it was, "teachers if there are any students in the hallway please bring them into your classroom and close and lock your door."

-My classroom looks out onto a giant field. We had the blinds closed because we were watching a documentary. When all this started happening, one of the kids got up to look out the window (you can also see the front door from my room.) We saw a large truck parked and abandoned in the middle of the field and a police car in front of it.

-I texted the custodian to ask what was going on. She texted me back, "somebody over on the elementary side has a gun and i think they were shooting."
-We hear from someone else that there was a high speed chase and the guy jumped out and ran into the school.

-After about an hour, we were taken off lockdown and I walked my kids to their next class. There were about 6 cops in the front stairwell.

-After I dropped the kids off, I came up to the school police officer and asked him what happened. He said they were chasing somebody through the school but they got away and ran up through the alley by the school. He said they thought he had a gun, but they weren't sure.

-The school police officer told me that the Police Dept. wanted to close school for the day, but the schools CEO said no. Hundreds of parents came and got their kids anyway.


The news puts this on their facebook page:

"Attn Harford Heights Elementary School Parents: We have spoken to City Police there was NOT a shooting at or near the school. Someone threw a bolt, which broke a basement window and resulted in a loud noise, which resembled gunfire. The school was placed on temporary lockdown until it could be investigated. There were no shots fired. The school was deemed safe. The students have resumed their regular schedule."

This is the picture:




SOMEONE THREW A BOLT??!?!?! You have GOT to be kidding me.

Sure

"Sven?! That's a really stupid name. Sven. Huh," said Derahj. (pronounced dare-uhj.)

Random Conversations RE: My Face

"Ms. Vinson I'm really glad that zit on your chin finally cleared up. It was really bothering me." -Desmond

Something Else That Makes No Damn Sense

There's a student named Asia.
She's super smart and has a severe emotional disorder. Before this school year, nothing was done to address her emotional problems. Her brother is in the Emotional Disorders program at our school. (Those classrooms have like 8-10 kids, they have one-on-one aides, and the teachers and staff have permission to physically restrain students who are a danger to themselves or others. They also have a "time-out" room.)
Our team referred Asia for this program earlier in the school year. She was able to maintain in the classroom about 60% of the time, but that other 40% she was running around tearing down bulletin boards or stealing people's work and ripping it up. Apparently she ran outside one day and tried to get into someone's car (someone who was sitting outside waiting to pick up a child.)
In November, she had an altercation with Ms. P (the one who's out on administrative leave...because of this incident.) After that, she started spiraling downhill. She stopped doing work, she was skipping class and getting in fights with other students. At one point, I saw her running down the hallway and banging her own head against the wall.
At the meeting we had to begin the process of getting her the help she needs, I turned in 20 pages of notes on her behavior. Two days before the meeting, she--completely unprovoked--attacked a teacher (who she didn't even know) in the hallway and followed that teacher down the hall and into the office and attacked her again in the office, hitting her with the notebook the teacher had been carrying earlier.
Asia was given a 45 day suspension for that incident. During her suspension, she has attempted suicide, she has run away from home more than once, she has broken her leg trying to jump out of her bedroom window to run away and she has been institutionalized for about 10 days. Her father has basically given up on her to the point that when she runs away he waits a few days to start looking for her. (She's 11 years old, by the way.)

Asia's 45 day suspension is over this Friday. She is expected to return to our school on Monday March 21.

Here's where the no sense making part starts. Asia will not be placed into the E.D. program yet. She has to be placed into the Special Education classes first. (Special Education is for those who have disabilities keeping them from working on the grade level of their peers; Asia's abilities are far above her peers.) She has to be observed by teachers, staff members and someone from Central Office in the Special Education classroom before she will be allowed to move to E.D.

At her meeting today (which she and her father were invited to, but did not attend) we pleaded with the Special Ed Office to immediately place her in the E.D. program. The Special Education classes are only TWO DOORS away from all of her former classmates and friends. She will see them in the hallway, and she will be embarrassed. I think Asia knows that she needs help, but let's face it, no one wants their friends to think badly of them and I'm worried she will act out just because they are there.

The Special Education teacher put it best when he said that the whole situation is a Catch-22. If Asia acts crazy and hurts herself or someone else, she will be allowed to get the help she needs. But if she acts fine while she's being observed, then she will be stuck in a Special Education class that she does not belong in.

This is my main problem with the whole thing. If Asia went to the mental hospital and has been DIAGNOSED WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS, she has PHYSICALLY ATTACKED two teachers and numerous classmates, WHY WHY WHY does there have to be one more week of pointless observation before she can be placed in a classroom for children with emotional problems? Why wasn't all that other stuff enough?!

This is the kind of stuff I can't handle. Blatantly ruining kids lives for no damn reason.

I'm Just Special

Last week, this kid named Corey decided he wanted to be in a different class. So he just started showing up to this new class. Apparently, I'm the only teacher who was not okay with this.

Administrator brings him to me last period because Corey said that was his class. I tell administrator that Corey is NOT in that class, he is in my second period...and I had written at cut slip for him during 2nd period.

This happens Wednesday AND Thursday.

On Friday, Administrator tries to bring Corey to me AGAIN during last period. "Miss Vinson, just take him, he's already been to all his other classes."

NO. NO I WILL NOT TAKE HIM. An 11 year old does not get to make my decisions for me. He is in my 2nd period. I will teach him during 2nd period unless you change his schedule.


He leaves and take Corey to the computer lab for the remainder of the period.

I'm sorry, but I just don't get letting a kid do whatever they want just because you don't feel like arguing with them. And I don't pick every battle with a child (Good Lord, there aren't enough hours in the day) but the battles I do pick, I AM GOING TO WIN THEM.

This past Monday, Administrator says we need to talk. He takes me into the conference room and says, "In all my years of teaching, I would have NEVER thought to raise my voice to an administrator and I cannot BELIEVE you did such a thing."

I told him that I was sorry he was upset, but I would not apologize and I would do it again if it came down to it. He said we should be able to talk about things out of range of the kids and without raising our voice.

Which, I agree with...HOWEVER. This was the THIRD day we'd had the exact same conversation ("Miss Vinson you can't expect me to remember everything.") And he's the one who forced his hand by standing in the doorway of the classroom and announcing that I needed to take Corey into my room.

I told him that I have to show up in this building and survive everyday and the only thing I have is my authority. And if he tries to strip that away, we are going to have some problems.

We decided to agree to disagree. And since then, he has come into my room and told me that he needs a copy of my curriculum to make sure I'm teaching what I'm supposed to be teaching. Apparently, they are suspiciously well-behaved for me and he thinks I'm just making shit up to keep them entertained.

Idaho Started It.

Me: What two states touch ZERO other states?

Latifah: What?! They all touch each other!

Damon: EEEEEWWWWWWWWW

Funny or Sad?

Pretty sure most of the kids at my school don't know what at least 4 of those words are.

Miss Vinson and Damontae Go On Vacation

This kid, Damontae came into my room the other day. He thinks he's getting expelled because someone threw a book at their Language Arts teacher and the class said he did it.

I have lots of pictures of former students on the wall, and he came to tell me that I needed a picture of him before he left. So I opened up PhotoBooth on my computer and ended up laughing for like half an hour.
First,we took a regular picture:




Then, we rode a rollercoaster:



THEN, we went to the beach. Be jealous!



We stopped by a waterfall...



Finally, I THOUGHT we were going to an aquarium...

"Why are we holding our noses, does it stink here?"



"NO WE ARE UNDERWATER, DUH!!!!"

At this point, Dashawn comes in and is super upset that we went on vacation without him. So we took him to the ocean. And Damontae became a shark.

The Most Depressing Conversation I Had All Week

"Ugh, Miss Vinson, just because you say he can't read doesn't mean he automatically gets put back in special ed."

"Well, then what am I supposed to do?"

"You need to document all the ways you tried to accomodate his needs to prove that you were doing your job."

"His accomodations say: 'extended time, frequent breaks and reduced distractions.' Even if he gets all those, he still only reads 3 letter words. I don't know how to teach someone to read, and I don't know how to assess someone who can't read or write. Isn't it insulting that to you, a special educator, who has a degree in special education, that everyone just expects me to wake up one day, with no training, and know how to teach special education students?"

"Miss Vinson, I agree that he should be back in special ed, but it can't just happen all of a sudden."

"He was taken OUT of special ed 'all of a sudden.'"

"I don't have time for this."

Things That Are Stupid

Hey kids.
Sorry I've been such a horrible blogger lately. It's not because that woman in wherever got in trouble for blogging about her lazy, whiny students being "lazy whiners." I just always think of good things to blog when I'm not around the computer and then when I sit down at the computer, I end up drowning in facebook or looking up dream apartments in NYC.

Things are weird at school right now. I haven't gotten frustrated with children in almost 6 weeks. Of course, sometimes I have to raise my voice and I've threatened to TEAR OFF YOUR EARS AND STORE THEM A JAR THAT I WILL KEEP ON A SHELF AT MY HOUSE but I'm not actually having bad days.

On Friday, at 8:50a.m., the two hall monitors come into my room. (First period is over at 9:05.) They say that because yesterday some kids broke into the cafeteria and ruined all the science fair projects the whole first floor is on "lockdown" for the entire day. What does lockdown mean? Lockdown apparently means that I have to load all my shit on a cart and roll it from classroom to classroom and teach each class in their homeroom.

Obviously, it was not important to inform teachers of this BEFORE five minutes before we were supposed to do it. And also, apparently less obviously, THAT PUNISHES NO ONE BUT THE TEACHERS. So, of course, I had to spend the next 15 minutes threatening the lives of anybody who was going to decide to trash my room.

See, I'm living in a twilight zone right now where I'm not stressed about work and the kids are the best behaved I've had in years, but the whole rest of my team is having Worst Year Ever. The Math teacher cried the other day and said they make her feel like it's her first year (she's been teaching for 14 years), the new Language Arts teacher has been around for a week, she came from a high school and so far has had a textbook AND a desk thrown at her. So, I had to go into these out of control rooms and "teach" while they went into my room. It ended up being not so bad...but still. I was annoyed.

Also, the 6th grade administrator keeps telling me I need to "help my colleagues get it together." I'm sorry, what? How am I supposed to tell people who've been teaching longer than me what to do? Also, pretty sure that is YOUR JOB, MR. ADMINISTRATOR. I'm glad they are paying you six figures to walk around and look exasperated all the time.

Things That Piss Me Off, Part 2,332,768,956,567

When a kid comes back from a 5 day suspension with brand new shoes, khakis and an $80 Ralph Lauren Polo shirt.

Climate Surveys

I got yelled at by administrators. To be fair, I started it...but it was weird. It has been awhile since I've stood in the hallway yelling at an adult.

Every year, the school system asks us to complete Climate Surveys. The teachers, parents and students all fill them out. All the information gets reported to the central office. It's one of those Strongly Agree/Strongly Disagree surveys with questions like, "I feel safe at my school" and "Misbehaving students get away with it."

These things used to just get passed out and returned to the school for the school to turn in...which is clearly asking for inaccurate results. So, now, teachers can complete theirs online and parents can send theirs directly to the central office. The student one, however, still is filled out at school and returned to the main office.

Last period is from 1:30-2:35. At 2:10, a student showed up to my room with a stack of surveys and said the students had to complete them before the end of the day. Being right by the office, I walked over and told an Assistant Principal that we would have to complete ours tomorrow...as we were already in the middle of a lesson and it wouldn't really work out to stop right then.

JUST DO WHAT I SAY. MAKE THEM TAKE THE SURVEY. THEY HAVE TO BE AT CENTRAL OFFICE RIGHT NOW.

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF TEACHING MY STUDENTS.

Just do it really fast.

It's a 55 question survey. That could take a 6th grader more than half an hour.

JUST DO WHAT I SAY.

NO.

OHMYGOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I JUST REALLY WISH TEACHING WAS IMPORTANT HERE.

Just What We Need

So the company that took us over has these people who randomly come in and meet with us to tell us how horrible we are. A good time is had by all.
Last week, the woman in charge of School Climate (who lives in Texas) flew in for a day to tell us this: "We're just not having enough fun here! And that's our goal, right? To have fun!" Well, besides the fact that no, that is not our goal...how would she even know anyway? And one of the many problems with this "goal" is that children and adults have waaaay different definitions of "fun." I actually think the kids are having a blast: no consequences, running around doing whatever they want, not having to do any classwork...sounds like a party to me.
Anyways, I don't even want to dedicate an entire blog post to this woman because I don't want to validate her ridiculousness. The point of this post is this:

(Also, my beautiful reader(s), this is secret information!)

Apparently New Principal (the one who showed up after Thanksgiving, keep up people!), got a FOUR PAGE MEMO from the Turnaround Director chastising her for what she is doing as a principal. Now, this memo was received before Christmas, so she had been principal (for the first time ever) for a grand total of three weeks before getting a FOUR PAGE MEMO. The secretary overheard her saying that she understands what the previous principal had been complaining about.

So, we get an email from the Fun Is The Goal Lady saying that we are going to re-teach these lessons she gave us earlier in the year about behavior. (Lesson #1: Attendance is Important!) There's like a song and a chant and some other B.S. (sidenote: how stupid does she think these kids are...reteach the EXACT SAME LESSON?) So we get the email last Wednesday saying to teach these blahblah lessons this week.

TODAY we get a memo from New Principal stating that CLASS TIME IS FOR CONTENT RELATED MATERIAL AND NOT BEHAVIORAL LESSONS.

So, to give you an update on my mood, I am SO PSYCHED that my principal and the company that is in charge of our school are going to wage a petty email/memo war instead of ACTUALLY HELPING OUR SCHOOL. Thanks so much guys, this is what they pay you the big bucks for.

Overheard

Today while working on their maps, Robert to Darrell, Jordan and Glen:

"When I grow up I'm going to have one boy and one girl. I'm going to name them Madagascar and Glory."


I kindof want to name my kid Madagascar now.

Chalkboard Watch '11

Update: I still don't have one.

This Is Me Following Directions

The social worker once told me that her first year at our school she was completely overwhelmed. She called the central office several times telling them that she needed another social worker at the school to help carry the load. She kept telling them there were simply too many children for just one social worker. They sent three people---three people to teach her how to better manage her time.
We just got ANOTHER new administrator. Now, we have a principal, a resident principal (like an intern), and 3 assistant principals. I still have 30+ kids in my classes BY THE WAY. I don't need more people telling me how to do my job, I need more people who are actually ALSO doing my job.
This is especially bothering me because it's not like these 90393438 administrators are actually helping anything. The one that's been assigned to the 6th grade...he just tells me "write it down" whenever I say anything.
"Tyquan is trying to incite a riot."....."*sigh* write it down."
After like, the 8th time of "write it down" I finally said, WHAT WHY. "Miss Vinson, anecdotal records....you need them." Right, Right. So I can take them to the meetings where no one listens to me? Or so I can...fail him?....at the end of the school year? I swear I could be like, "Daquan just killed someone!" and he would, "*sigh* write it down..." as he was walking in the other direction.
So anyway, here I am. Writing it down.

Presented Without Comment

I just got a new student named Raquan.

He asked me if I knew his brother. I do know his brother. I taught him last year. His name is Raekwon.

2011

So, in a rare moment of awesomeness, my principal let me leave for Christmas break 2 days early. I promised to have my room all moved and I got other teachers to cover my classes. I drove 13 hours with my brother and an hour after I got into town, I drove 2 more hours with my best friend to go see the best concert of my entire life.

While I was home, I thought that I should probably come back here a little early and really set my classroom up right. Then I thought, "wait, these clowns can't even give me a chalkboard. Why would I waste my vacation time setting up my classroom?" So I didn't.

My room looked like ass all day and even though I stayed until 5pm today, there's still a lot of work to do. They say maybe I'll have a chalkboard by the end of next week.

Things actually went rather smoothly today, considering it's the first day back and at 7:45 none of the children knew where they were supposed to be. I got about 25 new kids incorporated into the classes I already have and nobody was a jerk. mission accomplished.

Two weird things today though:

1. I have been teaching with the same woman for my entire 6 years. I remember walking past her classroom in awe my first year. How do they sit so quietly? Is he actually doing classwork?! Why is no one cursing? I thought she had like, magical powers or something. It was really weird today to walk into her room and see the exact same group of kids who had just sat quietly like angels in my classroom acting like lunatics in hers.

2. Some charity something or other that is affiliated with my school gives out holiday meals to some of the families at school. I left on Tuesday, December 21st. They gave out the Turkey and Trimmings on Thursday, December 23rd. Today, January 3rd, there was a formerly frozen, now rotten, turkey sitting in my classroom. It smelled up the whole school. GROSS.