Irony

Aren't My Kids Cute?!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Ms-Vinson-is-the-Best-Teacher-Ever/120170287996190?ref=ts

Another Decision...:(

Well, that's a misleading title because I've pretty much made up my mind about it...but still.
As I said before, our school is doing a "turnaround model." Every teacher has to re-apply for their job or go to another school.
I hate this school and I hate this administration, but I'm probably going to stay. Why are you being such an idiot, Heather? you say.

Wellll, first, I am lazy. I've got a whole lot of school stuff piled up in this building. My classroom is in a prime location. I painted my desks myself and I have good chairs. I've kept track of my textbooks so none of them have curse words or penises drawn in them. These are big things in Teacher World.

Second, I don't want to start over. I am a well-established badass in this building. People know me and know not to mess with me. My kids like me and will protect me against anyone. This probably isn't a big deal to most teachers but in the ghetto schools of Baltimore, it's a big deal. I've only got one more year of teaching anyway, I don't want to spend it as the new girl.

But this means I have to send in my RESUME and INTERVIEW for my own damn job. Stupid. I'm being really lazy about it because I think it is asinine, so they might not ask me back anyway. I guess we'll see.

But check this out, the people who are taking over our school came in last Friday to observe the whole day. The day before, principal suspended like 40 kids. She announced it like 15 times that guests were coming and blah blah blah. They were so paranoid that the kids would act like their normal selves.

UMMMMMMMMM, isn't that what we want? These people need to see what they're getting into. If they see all these nice, polite children sitting quietly in their chairs, they are going to think, "Wow, it must be these terrible teachers because these kids obviously want to learn."

NO. I need them to see the cursing and the screaming and the packs of children running down the hallway. I need them to know that several of my kids miss twenty or more days of school or show up at 10am. I need to see teachers trying to teach over children throwing paper across the room or hitting and fighting each other. If things are going to change, the last thing we need is for them to be IMPRESSED.

Trying To Make Your Problem My Problem Won't Solve Your Problem

So we're doing this thing during the last 8 weeks of school. Every Friday during third period (the last period we teach our students before we have planning period) we have been either watching a movie or going to the gym or something. We decide during lunch who is going to get to go. If a teacher takes you off the list, you have to stay behind and sit in a classroom and do work.

This is what I don't get: some of these teachers don't want to take responsibility for taking a kid off the activity. All the kids will get upset (obviously) and want to know who took them off. The other teachers will say, "we decided as a team." No, we didn't. I won't disagree with somebody for taking a particular child off the list, but if that child isn't a problem for me, why would I tell them I took them off? Now, the kids I do take off, I will go up to them beforehand and say something like, "Hey, Cortez, remember on Tuesday when you did no work and wouldn't stop cursing? Well, think about that and think about MISS VINSON while you're sitting in that detention room. Maybe next time you'll remember to take care of your business instead of acting like a clown."

The difference is, I'll take off about 5 kids, and the math teacher will take off like 40 kids. If you are having a problem with allllll these kids--kids that cause me no trouble--shouldn't you have something to do with their punishment? Maybe that's why you have management problems, because you are relying on others to do your discipline.

So this week, another teacher and I took the good kids to the gym to play basketball and jump rope and just hang out. When we came back, the language arts teacher told me that she thinks I need to stay behind with the disruptive kids because I have more control over them than the math teacher does.

This is fine. I'm a team player. But I don't see how this will help her with her discipline issues. But I notice, when we're making the list, the math teacher will just generalize certain students. Can Devin go? No, he's "bad." Whereas I say, "Devontay can't go because he has missed my class 3 times in two weeks." If she has just decided particular children are "bad," no wonder they act crazy.

And another thing, they WANT to come in my class. So, how, exactly, are we punishing them? Of course they don't get to go to gym, but they get to spend extra time in Miss Vinson's class, which is someplace they want to be.

And ANOTHER thing, if you are having problems out of more than half your students, maybe it's time to sit back and reflect on yourself. There are certain kids that I can't STAND but they do incredibly well in science or language arts or whatever. But if HALF OF THE SEVENTH GRADE is a problem for you...I don't think I can help you, and no matter how many times they aren't allowed to go to Fun Friday, nothing is going to change.

Two Things

#1
Another group of girls is working on a business. They told me it is a restaurant that sells "black people food."

What is black people food?

"you know, funnel cakes and chicken and stuff."

Wait, I can't eat funnel cakes because I'm not black?! But I love funnel cakes. :(

"You IS black, Miss Vinson."

*I hold out my arm* Um, I am very clearly not black.

"That's just your skin color. It don't mean nothing."


#2
One of the girls birthdays was last week and her mother brought in cupcakes. Each of the cupcakes had a little plastic purses and shoes and such sticking out of them. The boys thought this was hilarious. They ate their cupcake and then carried around their plastic high-heeled shoe. Deon was holding his tiny little plastic purse like an actual purse and another one of the boys says to me, "Look Miss Vinson, he's a single lady!"

Which made me think of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9eL3ejXmE

(I don't know why blogger won't let me put the actual links in anymore...sorry)

They Sell Mom Jeans

My seventh graders are studying economics and they have to work in pairs to create a business. Two girls, Antionette and Tiykia are creating a clothing store.

"Miss Vinson, we're going to combine our names together for the name of our store. It's 'Anti-Style'!"

Grammar Nerds...You'll Like This Alot

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

Tu Madre

I don't know how well this will translate from a spoken story to a written one...but if anything I can have it for my own memories.

This kid, Darius. He really doesn't do much but he tries to. It's hard for him to focus and he's on like a 2nd grade level so he gets lost easily. We were studying entrepreneurs. The station he was at was Henry Ford. The first question was "What struggles did this entrepreneur overcome?"

He was having trouble answering, so I said, "Darius, what happened to Henry Ford's mom?"...He looked at me and (try to picture a loud, crazy black kid trying to do their imitation of a white woman)..."MAAAH-M....MOM....MAAAAAH-M." He then looks to Deonte and says, "I think sumptin hap'n to his muhvah."

Me: "Yeah...his muhvah."

Darius: "Well, his muhvah died, so he had to stay wit his fahvah."

Every now and then for the rest of the period, I would hear Darius randomly go "MAAAAAH-M." And I couldn't stop laughing about it. He wasn't doing it out of disrespect, it's like he was turning the word over in his mind and couldn't quite get it right.

Apparently I Have Too Much Courage

Today we had our monthly faculty meeting. It wasn't as annoying and ridiculous as usual..but they never totally disappoint us.

Last week we had to submit a list of all the kids who are going to fail for the year. It's basically a joke because probably about half the seventh graders really deserve to fail (40ish kids) but we put down around 20 who "really, really" deserve to fail, but honestly only around 4 or 5 kids will ACTUALLY FAIL.

So, there's no point to it. It happens every year. We make our list. They try to frighten us with how much paperwork all these failures will mean. They meet with us over and over to change the grades ("Look, he has a 55, can't you just give him a 65?"...I GAVE him the 55 when he really deserves like a 7.)

Well, today I heard a new phrase. The assistant principal stood up and told us that if we are "Bold enough to fail them, then we better have our documentation in order to prove it."

BOLD. BOLD ENOUGH.

Like, I have the gall to fail a child. I'm sorry, but bravery doesn't really factor into the equation. THE EMPTY NOTEBOOK DOES.

They aren't 5 years old. If they have literally done NOTHING for 180 days, I don't see why I have to have a whole bunch of paperwork to prove my point.

He then says we must get "work packets" together for the failing ones (this happens every year too). So they can get a "work packet" and finish it and pass the 7th grade. 180 days of instruction crammed into something that only uses a single staple. Of course. Oh, but they won't give us paper for this work packet....or a working copier...or time to make it.

One of my students from last year, she is now in the 9th grade, called and asked me to be the godmother to her daughter due August 26th.

Sounds Legitimate...

Today my kids were in the computer lab. It's next door to a sixth grade science class. I see a girl I used to teach standing by the door of said class.

"Ziyah, why don't you go into class?"

"My shirt is too big to go to class."

"What?"

"My SHIRT is too BIG so I can't GO to CLASS."

Oh, well, okay then....

HAHA, Psych! It was more like,

"GIRL, if you don't get you and your BIG SHIRT in that classroom in FIVE SECONDS I will take your EARS and keep them as SOUVENIRS."...or something like that.