Lions and Tigers and Freemasons, Oh My!

In case you didn't know, kids are freaking weird. They smell funny; they raise their hand in the middle of class to tell you they saw a kitten at the bus stop; they play stupid games with stupid names like "snatchies" and "swirls" (snatchies=stealing something from someone. if you say "snatchies" while you do it, you get to keep it. swirls=putting your hand on someone's head and then moving your hand in a swirling motion really fast, supposedly to make them turn their head....see....STUPID.);they think that hitting you or calling you names is the appropriate way to show affection.

They also spend a lot of time bored. They try to find ways to fill this boredom with any number of activities. Jawon, my dear, dear Jawon, chooses to watch The History Channel. This is equal parts fabulous and annoying. I believe after an episode of Gangland, he came across some kind of special on the Freemasons. Now the ENTIRE class is scared to death of Freemasons. They have some piece of paper where Jawon drew Freemason symbols on it, and they'll throw it at each other and scream. They'll walk to the trash can and on the way there, come up behind somebody and scream, "FREEMASON!" so they other person jumps and also screams. They asked me if Ms. Mason is, in fact, a Freemason.

I told them if they got all their work done, for the last 10 minutes of class, we could discuss the Freemasons. So, then they screamed at each other to shutup. SHUTUP WE HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE FREEMASONS!!! Devin then says that he doesn't want to learn about them, he'll have nightmares. Also, in case you didn't know, Jay-Z is a Freemason, and he sold his soul to the devil (all of them do that.)

Or, at least, that's what Jawon's uncle's neighbor's sister told her cousin who told Jawon.

On The Radar

So on Friday, we had somebody from the School CEO's office come by to meet with us during our Professional Development. I think the title of her little presentation was "How To Piss Off A Room Full of People In Ten Minutes or Less." I think that's what it was.
Anyway, the official reason of coming was to make sure we know that when Special Education students get disciplined, we can't stop the services they are supposed to be receiving.
Okay--I guess. I mean, that whole argument comes from people who don't have any idea what happens at school. So, you have a kid who is acting like a crazy person. I get that we can't hide him in the closet and forget about him. However, you've got 30 other kids in the room that deserve an education too. And it's never just ONE kid.

But whatever. Her ACTUAL, underhanded reason for coming was to stand in front of us and let us know that we're "on the radar" for discipline issues and we better get our shit together, or else. She really actually said "on the radar" and "we'll be watching you" and crazy scare tactics like that. We know you suck and you better stop sucking immediately or something bad is going to happen.

Of course, like normal people, we get a little bit defensive. We don't have any money or resources, they keep sending us students who have been discipline problems all over the city, have just gotten out of JAIL, etc. In the middle of her rant on In-School Suspension (she has lots of rules for ISS), she keeps bringing up that we need to have "strategies and things" in place for when a student acts up. One of the teachers (not me, for once), raises his hand and asks for suggestions.
He says,"You keep saying we need strategies and things. Can you give me some suggestions for what KIND of strategies and things?"
She ACTUALLY says,"You know, strategies and things. I mean, what kind of strategies and things can you come up with?"
and he says,"I'm asking YOU. You're whose radar I'm on. I'm asking YOU what I need to do to fix it."
She then asks if our administrator can come in the room. She presents the situation to our administrator like we are all scared of our school and our overwhelmed with how to deal with our children. Managing Assistant Principal (MAP for the sake of laziness) is all kinds of perplexed. The lady purposefully misinterpreted the situation so she didn't have to address our concerns. But MAP is freaking out because she doesn't want it to look like she can't control her staff or there might be some kind of discord at the school (God forbid anyone see the truth, right?) So she spends the next 10 minutes trying to sugarcoat everything and talking about how everything we had said related to last year and we really didn't need anything this year because everything was so much better and blah blah blah.
So MAP and mean lady leave the meeting all, "Ah, another job well done!" while we're still sitting there stewing over the injustice of everything. Education at its' finest!

They Aren't Always Precious Slash Sometimes I'm Kindof A Bitch

There's a kid. His name is Deon. I've seen him twice, it's the 4th week of school. He says he's missed the last 2 weeks because he was locked up. He's 15 and in the 7th grade.
He was sitting in my room, doing nothing at all. He starts talking to another boy. I tell him 3 times to be quiet. Then I say, very loudly, that he needs to be quiet. He says, "I don't know who the fuck you think you're talking to." I say, "I'm talking to YOU Deon [LastName]. Deon [LastName] is who I'm talking to. But maybe you don't need to listen since you've heard all this before, the last time you were in 7th grade." He said, "Well, you're fucking lucky I'm on the box." (On the box=ankle bracelet monitor, like house arrest). Another kid stood up and told him not to talk to me like that and to shut his mouth. He didn't say anything for the rest of the period. When we were lining up to leave, I asked him to stay back. After everyone had left (besides him and another boy), I asked him if he really meant to threaten me or if he said something he didn't mean because he was angry. I told him that if he really meant the threat, then I have to write him up and he can get arrested for something like that, which is not good since he's on the box. He said, "Can I leave?" and I said, "Can you answer my question?" He repeated. I repeated. He looked at the other boy and said, "Imma fuckin rock her, I swear to God." He then took a black bandanna out of his pocket and held it up. I asked him if I was supposed to be impressed, or if I should congratulate him. He said, "You can take it however you want to take it." The other boy stood up and told Deon he needed to leave. Deon walked out and I started writing his office referral.

I went into the office later and Managing Assistant Principal was in there w/ Deon. She would not suspend him because I should not have embarrassed him in front of his classmates (by pointing out he's been in 7th grade before).

My Favorite Quotes of Today

"Look, Ms. Vinson. I did work, and I don't even do work!"-Victor

"Look, son. The pilgrims came over on the Mayflower. I got that off Charlie Brown, yo."-Quamonte

Detention For Dummies

My school, the city, all inner-city school systems, come up with some dumb-ass policies from time to time.
For example, on Friday, we were given letters for kids to take home for their parents to sign. If a child does not bring this letter back, signed by a parent, then WE CAN'T HOLD THEM FOR DETENTION.
What kind of shit for brains child is going to bring this letter back? I spoke with one of the administrators, and she said they were going to be offering candy to whoever brings the letter back. Again, exactly what kind of morons do you think we're teaching here? I mean, yeah, they think Baltimore is a state and that I'm related to all the other white people in all the world, but come on, nobody's that dumb.

You Must Not Love Him THAT Much

So, I have a new life philosophy. It is called Resist The Urge To Spit In My IST's Face.
We're getting along. I sortof smile and sortof joke when I talk to her. I do not attempt to strangle her or rip her eyeballs out. I still want to, but I'm not.
Anyway, she was in my room talking about last year's 8th graders (I had went to a JV football game the day before and seen about 15 of them.)
One in particular, Eric, took some kind of placement test and is now in 11th grade. (Don't ask.) Eric is one of my favorites. He's verrry troubled and very sensitive. He's up there with Taurus as one of the Ultimate Favorites.
IST hates him. BIG surprise. Huge. She hates someone who really, really likes me. I'm shocked.
She was talking about him, and how much she hates him, and how much I love him. And she said,"But I know what you mean. That's how I feel about Tavon. You know Tavon? He was my favorite when I was teaching." She went on, Tavon, Tavon.

I know exactly who she's talking about...and his name is Trevon.

Shutup or Leave

The 4 preps, and the 2 teams, and the 8th grade activities, and the behavior issues of the 7th graders...kindof a little much already.

My IST does N.O.T.H.I.N.G. all day. Everybody knows it.
I ask if she could take over one of my classes so I'm not so overwhelmed. She'd have one class every other day. Big whoop.

Well, I was informed yesterday that if I have a problem with my current schedule, I can go to Human Resources and transfer to another school so they can get someone more "willing to work in the IB program." Oooookay.
There's a whole bunch of blahblah and etc. etc that goes with this story that I just really don't feel like talking about again.
But I think it's kind of bullshit that since I'm not just doing whatever they say with no questions or complaints, their first (and only) solution to this is to kick me out of the school. Wow. (By the way, more than 2 preps is against my Union Contract.)
Things have changed at the school as far as there is less yelling and children running and fire alarm pulling and whatnot, but damn, the attitude is still the same.

He Makes Quite The Impression

There's a teacher at my school. Mr. B.
He's loud and crazy and a fabulous teacher. He's one of those that believes you need to really freak kids out in the first few weeks so you don't have any trouble later on. It works for him--I'm not good at acting like I might be a crazy person.

Anyway, I was asking my cute, tiny little precious 6th graders how their first week of middle school went.
little Kevin: well, I like this class. But I don't like Mr. B's class. He is too loud.
Others: Yeah, he's loud and mean!
little Ricardo: yeah, I like this class, and science, and math, and gym.
Me: That's all your classes.
little Monae: not Mr. B's!! We don't like him! He is MEAN!

Me: Well, tell me some good things that happened this week.
little Kenneth: Well, it was funny when Mr. B gave Kevin detention.
others: Yeah!
little Ryan: And when Mr. B yelled at Myshae. That was funny.
others: Yeah!
little Imani: And when Mr. B was dancing and singing.

Me: So, lots of good things happened in Mr. B's class, right? So he can't be all bad.
Class: *confused mumbles* huh, I guess so, huh.