Ode to My Principal

Oh, how I loathe thee…let me count the ways

1. I hate how you talk over the intercom like its your personal phone line. Thank you for interrupting my class at least 15 times every day.
2. I hate how teachers have to go through upwards of five steps and countless pages of documentation in order for a student to be suspended, but you will suspend them for talking out of turn or having their shirt untucked while you are around.
3. I hate how you attempt to micro-manage everything to the point of exhaustion, but then act blustered and busy if someone tries to get your permission for something.
4. I hate how you reprimand teachers over the intercom.
5. I hate how you make up rules and then follow them blindly.
6. I hate how you will never listen to anyone’s ideas and then 3 days later have an “epiphany” and present the idea as your own. (or continue to refuse to listen to it for eternity.)
7. I hate how you preach “hands-on learning” to the point that I can order 50 pounds of clay but no books.
8. I hate how you scream over the intercom and to teachers that students must have “relevant homework” every single night, yet do not provide paper or a working copy machine and students are not allowed to take home books.
9. I hate that your vindictiveness has caused us to lose at least 5 really amazing teachers, and will continue to cost us.
10. I hate how you pick certain students to harass all the time, while another student can be doing the same thing with no consequence.
11. I hate how you treat teachers like wayward children.
12. I hate how you constantly praise people whose sole job is to do paperwork while constantly insulting the people who actually work with children.
13. I hate knowing that you have drastic mood swings that I have to work around and 80% of the time it is impossible to talk to you.
14. I hate your insistence that faculty meetings consist of you talking and everyone else listening.
15. I hate that you only talk about keeping things clean at faculty meetings.
16. I hate that you expect middle school students to be completely silent for hours at a time.
17. I hate that you think 8th graders need to be walked in a line to the exit at the end of the day.
18. I hate how you think I should care what you think about me.
19. I hate that fake voice and demeanor you suddenly adopt when we have visitors.

20. I hate how you blatantly ignore the insanity of the upper floors but demand perfection from the students on the first floor.

21. I hate how, despite all this, some part of me has to appreciate you because wherever you are, there is no chaos.

I hate that there’s so many more things that I hate that are much harder to explain.